Saturday, December 22, 2012
For example, this year I never got around to decorating my fireplace mantel, but instead of lamenting that I didn't carry out that tradition; I can joyful say that I have received joy in doing something else with my time instead. As I listen to people lament about all the things they feel like they HAVE to do for Christmas with a sort of attitude of stress; I realize that I want to take a hard look at all the so-called "have tos" on my list and give myself permission to let joy be my guide, and in the process, say good-bye to the tradition of Christmas stress.
Posted by Tanya at 8:06 PM
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
As I have been sitting at my computer writing and organizing information for the book I plan to write, I felt that anxiety that is now starting to feel out of place in my quest for joy and peace, and I knew that I needed to step inside my heart and breath deeply as I let go of the pressures that I used to believe would be my best motivator. Now I want to be motivated by joy. I really don't HAVE to write a book. I want to, and in the wanting, I can feel relaxed and joyful. All I have to do is step inside my heart and enter God's rest.
Posted by Tanya at 11:51 AM
Monday, December 17, 2012
I also have to share the other interesting thing that happened on that little cruise with Jamie (first name basis, you know). I was sitting by her on a bench as we ate lunch and she called out to our whole group that it was so fun being with us she wouldn't mind getting stranded with us on Gilligan's Island. I quickly claimed that I would be Ginger, and she responded that she would be Mary Ann. It took me months to realize my faux pas. What was I thinking? I claimed the star status with a genuine star and relegated her to the country girl, which is the obvious role for me. Forgive me Jamie. You can be Ginger.
PS She was as nice and down-to-earth as can be.
Posted by Tanya at 5:23 PM
Thursday, November 29, 2012
It is interesting to me that she wrote this book in the very year of my birth, as if she knew that at the start of my life I would eventually need this kind of message to guide me. She knew early on that I would need help. I am now reading it again at about the age she was when she wrote it. I feel such a infinite connection with her as if I knew her and she knows me, and we made some sort of agreement of what she would offer me and I in turn offer others. (Okay that might sound like I am in touch with dead people, which I'm not, in case you're worried, I am close to the edge of insanity but haven't fallen all the way over quite yet!) Anyway, my offering is that you read this book and find your stillness in the center--your inner core. I offer this book as a vehicle for you to do your own soul searching and writing about what it prompts you to belief, think, and eventually do. I also know that my humble and inadequate offering is also to write and share like she did, realizing of course, that I am not nearly as gifted with the use of words and imaginary as she was. At least you don't have to pay to read my writing, so remember, you get what you pay for!
Posted by Tanya at 12:25 PM
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
I am now converted to a new belief. I can move out of pain and be a good person. In fact, I was created to have joy. Pain is telling me something needs to change and is NOT something I should ever just get use to. Every time I do a posture check to relieve the physical pain, I will remember to keep doing that in all aspects of my life.
Posted by Tanya at 9:31 AM
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 11:17 AM
Friday, November 23, 2012
Now that I have valiantly overcome that weight issue and actually gone overboard, I now want to run up stairs and need to do so in order to keep from escalating the weight gain. It is also fun because since my dog goes wherever I go, we have a little race as I run up the stairs with JOY (Joy isn't the dog, just the feeling)!
Posted by Tanya at 8:28 PM
Posted by Tanya at 2:43 PM
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Mind you, however, if I get sick, then going to bed is justified. Oh wait a minute, I have even been know to suffer through the sickness and still rise to that super woman ideal, but trust me, everyone knows about it. But if I get really really sick then I can still go to bed and keep my claim on that over zealous title.
Okay, so now I know I don't have to get sick to give myself permission to do what my heart is calling for, and voila, I don't need to get sick and incapacitated anymore. I can just crawl in bed or in the tub feeling great and not needing any excuse. Wow, I just had a big sigh of relief. I am going to continue to explore my false beliefs and nix them.
Posted by Tanya at 7:54 AM
Monday, November 19, 2012
My personal quest is to always remember (something I am reminded of each week at church) that I need His Spirit to be with me to stabilize my life and to put my trust in my Savior and not some substitute that will only give me a temporary euphoric feeling. I will continue to turn to prayer throughout the day because it is so easy to jump back on that roller coaster ride and get that sick thrill. I will continue to seek His love and peace that is my great stabilizer.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
This makes me think of Adam and Eve. I know, you're thinking; "What a stretch!" Stay with me here. As they were kicked out of the Garden of Eden, Adam was told that he would have to start working for his food for his "sake." The definition of sake is benefit. There you have it. Work is for our benefit and now it can become my road to that smooth sailing boat ride.
Eve was also told that she would have to go through pain to have children, and let's face, even with the pain, having children is for our benefit. But I will go ahead and work for my food instead of having more children. Right now a new recipe from pinterest is baking in the oven. I am floating along.
Posted by Tanya at 4:19 PM
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 2:12 PM
It is only when I have faith that my pain can be swallowed up in Christ's Atonement that I know there can be some relief from that excruciating pain. It is that faith that allows total humility and accountability that will eventually lead to forgiveness and healing and allow that pain to be replaced with peace. The peace that surpasses all understanding. It is with deep gratitude that I express appreciation for my Savior that He was willing to suffer for me so that I don't have to continue to feel the full depth of the pain of my responsibility. I have faith that He can heal all damage that I have done.
Posted by Tanya at 1:40 PM
Thursday, November 15, 2012
I realized that I have gotten so use to the adrenalin rush from the roller coaster ride, that I might have become somewhat addicted to it. Yes, as this definition says, I have developed a sick liking for it; and because of that desire, I might be attracting the wild ride in order to feed that addiction.
What this realization does for me is first and foremost put me in a position of facing the truth about myself which is humbling and calls for the need to seek forgiveness and course correction by drawing on the strength of my Savior to heal. It really leads to assuming more personal responsibility, drawing on the Atonement to overcome, and ultimately resulting in more personal power and freedom. It is only when I acknowledge that I am not the victim but the driver of my own ship, that I am able to take the helm and allow my Father to direct me as I find healthy and productive ways to find fulfillment. Writing in this blog being one of them. I will reserve the roller coaster ride to my visits to the amusement parks.
There you have it; my true confession. Yesterday I had over hundred hits to my blog. I hope this helps someone out there who might be having their own struggle.
Posted by Tanya at 10:35 PM
Friday, November 9, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 10:37 AM
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 9:44 PM
Friday, October 26, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 8:07 PM
Monday, October 15, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 6:08 PM
Sunday, September 30, 2012
One story I wanted to share about Carole that made a lasting impression on me. While on a business trip with our husbands and while the guys were in meetings, Carole and I took a little tour into Amish Country. On our tour was a sweet lady traveling alone that was blind. Carole took it upon herself to be this lady's personal guide staying at her side the entire time. She is a remarkable woman and I am so grateful for those years we spent so much time together and for her wonderful example. No big surprise to me that this cute and sweet lady is now helping direct the largest women's organization in the world.
Posted by Tanya at 9:19 PM
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 3:02 PM
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Recently I realized that I often had an acid taste in my mouth when I woke up in the morning signifying to me that my diet had been unhealthy the day before. I have since been more committed to making sure I am eating a diet lower in acid foods and therefore I have been concentrating on eating more of the high alkaline foods. I have found that the foods that have a lot of acid are the very foods that the Word of Wisdom tells us to avoid altogether or eat sparingly--meat, tea, coffee, and alcohol; and the foods containing more alkaline content are fruits and vegetables and whole grains which the Word of Wisdom encourages us to eat. (I just need to clarify that my unhealthy days didn't include the tea, coffee, and alcohol. Luckily I was indoctrinated years ago to avoid those, but now I am finally understanding that it wasn't because I would be a bad person if I indulged, but that it simply wasn't good for my health.)
As I focus on what I should be eating more of, I have found that I automatically want less of the unhealthy foods such as sugar and artificial sweeteners, which are also highly acidic. Not only am I losing body fat but I feel so good and energetic. The promise of "run and not be weary" from the Word of Wisdom is true. Also, it has been found that disease and illness thrives in an acidic body but cannot live in alkaline one, so now I will be better at staying well. For me, health care isn't something Obama has to be in charge of because it is up to me to take care of my own health, and so I will follow the Word of Wisdom with a new focus on eating more of what is good for me. Tomorrow I will post about some things I am eating that have made such a difference for me.
Monday, September 17, 2012
"Holistic medicine is the art and science of healing that addresses care of the whole person - body, mind, and spirit. The practice of holistic medicine integrates conventional and complementary therapies to promote optimal health, and prevent and treat disease by addressing contributing factors. Holistic healthcare practitioners strive to meet the patient with grace, kindness, acceptance, and spirit without condition, as love is life’s most powerful healer.
"In practice, this means that each person is seen as a unique individual, rather than an example of a particular disease. Disease is understood to be the result of physical, emotional, spiritual, social and environmental imbalance. Healing, therefore, takes place naturally when these aspects of life are brought into proper balance. The role of the practitioner is as guide, mentor and role model; the patient must do the work - changing lifestyle, beliefs and old habits in order to facilitate healing. All appropriate methods may be used, from medication to meditation."
I am a Mormon (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) and my religion is also a holistic practice for me. It incorporates all aspects of the whole person promoting not just spirituality, but a focus on taking good care of the body, striving to always be learning especially by studying and teaching, and being connected in a social network in which we take care of each other. Finally it emphasizes a loving Heavenly Father and Savior who are full of grace, kindness, acceptance, and love; and offers the ultimate healing through the Atonement at the same time encouraging us to do our part.
Posted by Tanya at 8:22 PM
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 9:02 PM
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 6:08 AM
Friday, September 7, 2012
I am a Mormon. I was born a Mormon and raised a Mormon and here are some of the reasons why I love being a Mormon.
I am grateful for the wholesome lifestyle I have been encouraged to live.
I am grateful for a health code that encourages me to be good to my body, mind, and spirit.
I am grateful for loving boundaries that help me avoid the short term pleasure to more fully embrace long term health and happiness
I am grateful for a supportive and loving community that becomes another extended family.
I am grateful to have had the opportunity to give talks as a child that have helped me feel more comfortable in public settings later in life.
I am grateful to be able to teach and serve because as a teacher I have learned the most and as a servant I have learned to love and care more deeply.
I am grateful to have so many inspiring leaders that have taught me valuable principles and lessons of life.
I am grateful for programs and activities that provide wonderful experiences and help me grow.
I am grateful for the encouragement to pray and read scriptures everyday because I now know the source of truth and am better at finding personal inspiration.
I am grateful to have a clearer understand of where I have been and where I am going.
I am grateful that I have gained a personal relationship with my Savior and with my Heavenly Father.
I am grateful for temples where I can go to help other people and to feel even closer to God.
And ultimately and most importantly I am grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ and I am grateful that everything that is asked of me leads to Him. I know that even though I have made mistakes and will go through hard things; that I can be forgiven and those mistakes can work for my good, and I will always be supported in my trials.
Posted by Tanya at 9:22 PM
I was sitting in my healthy communities class (something that is required for my Master's) and the professor was talking about ways to fight obesity. After a lengthy discussion about suggestions made by our weekly reading, I offered a couple of suggestions.
First, how about as an incentive for healthy lifestyles choices, we require those whose health issues due to obesity and unhealthy life styles be required to pay much higher premiums for health insurance? I was intrigued by the reply by a fellow student that it isn't fair to punish the poor because they are caught in a generational cycle of poverty.
Now, here is what I find interesting. First of all, a foreign comedian once joked that he wanted to live in America where the poor people are fat. I guess this student assumed that I was wanting to just punish poor people because evidently they are the ones struggling with obesity thus proving the comedian right.
The second interesting element of this student's response is the viewpoint that would suggest that allowing people to be responsible for the natural consequences of their choices is considered punishment. Interesting. So if I don't do my homework and do poorly in a class, then if the professor gives me a bad grade, he is actually punishing me and I am not responsible?
What I have found in raising six children that if I keep on protecting them from the consequences of their choices so that I won't "punish" them, and continue to bail them out and take care of them, I have created irresponsible children that won't learn from their mistakes and thus it will become a generational pattern, just as one political party seems to want to do.
My second suggestion. Stop allowing food stamps to be used for junk food and pop. They should be used for only nutritional food items that sustain a healthy lifestyle.
Posted by Tanya at 6:37 PM
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Today I want to record all the wonderful principles and lessons I learned from my Dad.
Work hard and do your best
Learn to do it yourself
Expect a lot
Go to church
When you have a calling, be committed
Read, Read, Read
Get a good education. Get a degree
A B isn't good enough
Whatever you commit to, do it well
Be self reliant
Save and don't get into debt
Volunteer in your community
Learn as much as you can about as many things as you can
Develop talents (or in my case, try and find some)
Get mad at refs if they make a bad call
Sports is everything (I have family members that have carried that torch)
Have lots of books and a study with desks to encourage learning
Have lots of fun things to do at home
Make the home a place that the boy's friends will gather and where the youngest sister will learn how to nag
Shut the cupboards after yourself (he taught it, I have yet to practice it)
Make family your highest priority
Vacation together and make wonderful memories
Keep a clean home and yard
Never, ever litter
No matter what presidential candidate you voted for, respect the president
Get up early (I still practice this and this habit has served me well)
Stay active and physically fit
Don't eat a lot of sweets
Don't waste time
Take good care of your health
Apologize when necessary
Because I know he wants me to learn even from his bad example in addition to the good example as I want my children to learn from mine, here are some things that I want to do differently from my Dad and that I know he expects me to improve upon.
I want to relax more and enjoy life. I believe my Dad's early death from cancer could have been accelerated by his stressful, uptight and perfectionistic personality.
I don't want to be a workaholic. I realize that my Dad died before he had a chance to reach an age when you automatically realize that you don't want to work so hard and you don't have as much to prove.
I want to be silly sometimes. He once told me not to be so silly, but I know he feels differently now.
I want to live a long life so I can enjoy my grand and great-grand children because I feel bad that he didn't get that privilege. He died a month before his first grandchild was born.
I want to be emotionally connected to my family. Times were different then and with a focus on achievement rather than feelings, sometimes we didn't connect in ways that I now want to connect with my children and grandchildren.
I want to praise more and criticize a whole lot less and focus on what is done right instead of what is wrong. I want to be more optimistic.
I love my Dad. Forty years is a long time to be separated, but I am grateful for those moments when I know he is with me and the ultimate promise to be together again forever.
Posted by Tanya at 2:51 PM
This morning as I continued to savor the memory of that unique brush with nature, I knew that there was an important lesson for me. Just like the plants need water, we all are in need of some kind of replenishment. We all need love and validation, and we all will glow just like the plants when we receive that kind of watering.
From both of our families, Kev and I have been trained in sarcasm and teasing. While that can be fun in small doses, what I really need is to express and feel that kind of love and validation that makes us all truly shine. Is all teasing and sarcasm really does is make me feel funny for a moment but it doesn't really nourish and replenish someone's soul. As cheesy as it sounds, last night I experienced the joy and gratitude of the plants when they were abundantly nourished. I want to do that with people.
Posted by Tanya at 7:36 AM
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Because I am weird like that (and in so many other ways), I can see the analogy to life. Everything is better when I take the time to do a little arranging. Being better at arranging and organizing my time is a big priority for me right now. I know that I want to do more service and make more valuable contributions, and so that will big a focus for me--to be better at arranging my time and life. Given that my birthday was yesterday, today is the start of a new and better year. I love fresh starts and a chance to make fresh arrangements.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
I have been reading a national best seller book entitled "For Women only; what you need to know about the inner lives of men"
In the chapter "Keeper of the Visual Rolodex--Why it's so natural for him to look and so hard to forget what he's seen" the author found that even happily married men struggle with being pulled toward live and recollected images of other women that can be a big temptation.
The author surveyed hundreds of men and was surprised to learn how visual they are and how women that have a great body especially if they are dressing to show it off are difficult to avoid, not be distracted by, and not to dwell on.
She says that for the 25% of women who are "visual" (which is me, by the way) this revelation doesn't surprise them but the other 75% who don't understand that visual attraction can be such a powerful temptation don't truly understand. The author says that "the assumption is that all the trouble starts because 'men have roving eyes.' A better understanding is that there are roving, under-dressed women--and men can't not notice their existence! because of how they are hard wired."
So what's a women to do? the author asks.
One of the suggestion she gives is to "champion modesty in yourself and others."
She goes on to say, "Let's fact it, women who are totally clueless about this problem can also thoughtlessly contribute to it. After all, the images in a man's mental file come from somewhere--and it's not just from pictures. The eye magnets on the street are choosing to dress the way they do and the women who are totally clueless about this problem can also thoughtlessly contribute to it. Unfortunately, because women aren't visual, we may not understand what we are doing to the men around us--a fact that men find hard to believe, by the way. One father asked me why his cautious college-aged daughter dressed in a tight little top and skirt around a particular guy she found attractive. "Surely," this father said, "surely she knows what she's doing!" "Yes," I agree, "she knows she looks good. But she doesn't realize what is actually going on in that guy's head. What she's smugly thinking is, He thinks I'm cute." "Cute has nothing to do with it!" the shocked father replied. "He's picturing her naked!"
The author goes on to say, "Unfortunately, I can also guarantee that many adult women reading this book are unwitting fodder for the mental file of some devoted married man just because of how they dress. You're cluttering up a good husband's mind and tempting him to dishonor his wife. It is our responsibility to ensure that, as much as it depends on us, this doesn't happen."
Jesus was clear that it isn't enough to just avoid adultery but that men should avoid lusting. I know that we as women can intentionally or unintentionally dress in a way that can either help or hinder that avoidance. I stand as being one that wants to help. Count me in as one that wants to champion modesty.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 1:46 PM
Friday, August 17, 2012
Sometimes I have played the martyr and haven't honored myself by knowing and honoring my own limits. Lately I have felt empowered by stating my preference without apology or explanation and not being concerned if others agree or are judging me, and it feels good. I know that the way I honor my own limits by setting boundaries will also help me to honor other people and their preferences without judgment,
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
I was introduced to someone that looked like someone I grew up by and I thought she might possibly be her daughter. I asked, "Is your mother a Cutler?" She replied that she had been asked that before and I should see her baby pictures. I thought it was a weird response but we then went off doing our own thing.
Later I learned that when she saw me from a distance, she pointed me out to someone and told them that I asked her if her mom was a colored. The person replied, "Who says that these days?" She then said she wondered why I didn't ask if her father was a colored and why I would just assume it was her mother.
Well luckily they found out from the person who introduced us what I really said and came to find me to have a good laugh about the misunderstanding. We laughed so hard that later I felt like I had overdone my ab work. She did show me a baby picture from her iphone because she actually did look like she was African American and told me that she had been questioned several times on her ethnicity, just not quite like she thought I had asked her. I was just grateful that we were able to clear things up. I would hate to have her going through life thinking I was a prejudice person stuck the 60's.
It really does make me wonder how many times I have been misunderstood in this dramatic of a way and it never got clarified.
Posted by Tanya at 9:00 PM
Monday, August 6, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 9:53 AM
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 5:37 AM
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 6:45 PM
Posted by Tanya at 7:10 AM
Friday, August 3, 2012
My understanding is that we are here to learn from our experiences, and let's face it, there are a lot of experiences that I don't necessarily enjoy. Can I learn from them? Yes, but enjoy them, no. In hindsight I have learned that I can be grateful for painful experiences because of what I have learned from them, but I don't believe I am expected to enjoy them while in the moment. I know that there have been so many moments that I enjoy but those moments don't have the depth of learning that the painful moments have. I do want to learn to enjoy all the good moments, but I know that isn't my sole purpose. I am here to learn and although I want to get better at learning from all that is good and wonderful, I also know that I must know the pain in order to appreciate the good.
Maybe I will get to the point when at a really painful time, I can say, "Wow, I am enjoying this because I am learning so much." But I doubt it. The best thing I can do is enjoy the comforting Spirit that will come during hard times and trust that I will see the blessings later. Maybe that is what this thought is talking about.
Posted by Tanya at 7:02 AM
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
So...I decided that started today I was going to reclaim August and spend the month detoxing from sugar. I know that how well I am disciplined physically has a huge impact on the rest of myself, so I am counting on how great I feel being sugar free to carry me through and make for a better August. Wish me luck. One day down.
Posted by Tanya at 10:04 PM
Monday, July 9, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 10:39 AM
Friday, July 6, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 9:10 AM
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 7:47 AM
Friday, June 29, 2012
Take for instance, the heat of summer. I don't like it when it gets too hot. I guess I had better live a good life because hell will be too hot for me.
With that said, I can either whine about the heat or I can creatively problem solve. It hit me that what I use to think of as a curse is really a blessing in disguise. If you don't want too much information, STOP READING NOW.
Okay now I know you have an inquiring mind, so... It's no secret that I am still waiting to develop into a woman and the only reason I need to wear a bra is for the padding. So, the good news is, I have discovered how much cooler it is when I don't wear a bra and just rely on my religious undergarments to be my underclothing. Nothing shows anyway. Wow, I am liberated not just as a woman but I am liberated from the heat. Couple that with a skirt and the heat is a lot easier to tolerate. Who knew!!!
Posted by Tanya at 10:16 AM
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
- Repeatedly bailing them out - of jail, financial problems, other "tight spots" they get themselves into
- Giving them "one more chance" - ...then another...and another
- Ignoring the problem - because they get defensive when you bring it up or your hope that it will magically go away
- Joining them in the behavior when you know they have a problem with it
- Joining them in blaming others - for their own feelings, problems, and misfortunes
- Accepting their justifications, excuses and rationalizations
- Avoiding problems - keeping the peace, believing a lack of conflict will help
- Doing for them what they should be able to do for themselves
- Softening or removing the natural consequences of the problem behavior
- Trying to "fix" them or their problem
- Repeatedly coming to the "Rescue"
- Trying to control them or their problem
Posted by Tanya at 7:13 AM
Monday, June 25, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 7:10 PM
Sunday, June 24, 2012
After my grandkids left and I had my relaxing moment visiting pinterest. I found a pin from a friend about this children's book. Timely. Being too impatient to wait and visit a bookstore, I downloaded it on my ipad. It is a great book with a great message. Life is a lot more fun if we aren't worried about mistakes. Teaching that to my children and grandchildren is easier if I embrace that for myself. Using a mistake as an opportunity to learn rather than a stick to beat myself with is the best way to relax and enjoy life rather than fearing a mistake. I love to learn but I don't relish being abused.
Posted by Tanya at 3:52 PM
Saturday, June 23, 2012
The bells in the movie do remind me of living in the Chi Omega house and ringing the bell at dinner to summons Chuck to serve us. Chuck was our house boy from a local fraternity. Everyone needs a house boy. Why I got married and left that set up, I will never know! (A little side note. For most of the time Chuck worked there, he had long, scraggly hair; but one day he showed up with a handsome haircut revealing how good looking he was. We started ringing the bell more often!)
Whoops, I got a little sidetracked with college memories. Seriously, I love this period piece because I enjoy being placed in another place in time and learning about history. The show also demonstrates how much we can buy into traditions that need to be questioned and possibly changed. The tradition of a male-dominate society in which daughters couldn't inherit the title and money is crazy. Even a guy to inherit an unearned title is weird. How many of our traditions that we embrace right now will seem equally bizarre in the future? Like boys wearing their pants below their butts. Wait, that already seems weird.
Posted by Tanya at 6:14 AM
Friday, June 22, 2012
Doing a google image search on the word compassion restored my faith in people and their ability to love. I saw pictures that moved me to tears and to want to act more compassionately. Because the pictures I find usually come from a blog post about that word, I have been reading some inspirational writing. There are so many good people out there that are contributing so much that is enlightening. It seems the negative and bitter people are writing hateful comments on news stories but there are amazing people writing in countless blogs, and today I was especially grateful to read about and be motivated by the compassionate people.
Posted by Tanya at 6:38 AM