Sunday, October 31, 2010
I mentioned the other day about focusing on words that can help me become the best I can be. The scriptures often talk of the power of the word of God, and with this in mind I realize that the words in the scriptures used as my daily focus can have great power to change my very being by changing my heart. I find it valuable to look up the definition of even simple words in the scriptures because there is often other meanings that I haven't usually thought of that give me greater insight and direction.
I am committed to picking a word or two from my morning scripture reading to plant in my mind and heart for the day. Today the two words that jumped out at me were true and steady because of the dramatic affect they have on the heart. There were definitions of both of those words that I haven't thought of before. What power is in each word. No wonder we are encouraged not to use swear words because of the negative impact they can have on our hearts and souls.
Posted by Tanya at 5:46 AM
Saturday, October 30, 2010
When I take time to be aware of my breathing, I discover that I have a tendency toward shallow breathing and especially not exhaling completely. To me this seems symbolic of my personal tendency to not take in life and my wonderful experiences completely and holding on to the negative. I feel like changing how I breath can also help change how I respond to life. I am committed to taking deeper, fuller breaths and then exhaling all the way and pushing past that point where I resist letting go completely. So when Adam was given the "Breath of Life," that has a lot deeper meaning.
Posted by Tanya at 5:26 AM
Friday, October 29, 2010
In considering the fact that I can't do it all, I had better get more clarity on what it is that I truly love to do and what ways I can make the best contribution. I am going to spend some time really focusing on what I love and make a list. Then when I see someone do something that looks so inviting but really isn't my passion, instead of losing my own focus and thinking I have to do what they do, I can just enjoy their talent and realize that I have my own interests that are uniquely mine. Some days I honestly think a good pair of blinders would be really helpful.
Posted by Tanya at 10:00 PM
Thursday, October 28, 2010
The saying, “too many irons in the fire” probably was coined by blacksmiths. It means to be overwhelmed with too many tasks.
Before the introduction of thermometers, blacksmiths had to estimate how pliable the metal was by looking at its color.
The “too many irons in the fire” refers to the problem of putting so many rods into a fire, that that it becomes difficult for the blacksmith to know what stage of heating each piece is at.
The blacksmith could only work so many pieces, before he started wasting his resources. What if a piece of metal got too hot?
There is only so much that I can do and one of my problems is that I want to do it all and over plan but then I get discouraged when I can't meet my own expectations. Sometimes I need to simply and just plan a few wonderful things that I want to focus on. I mean I can't cure cancer AND have time to shop. Sorry folks but the cancer cure will have to be dropped from my priority list.
Posted by Tanya at 9:00 PM
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
I have inspiring friends and the other day one of those great friends inspired me when she shared her resolve to pick a word that evokes what she wants to be and then focus on being inspired by that word. It is interesting to me that the term "well-being" suggests that our very core being must be converted in order to be and feel well, and I believe I can better do that as I learn to embrace words that suggests want I want to ultimately become. I think my first word should be "consistent."
Posted by Tanya at 7:47 AM
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
There was awhile there that I had a hard time finishing a book. I would start a book and quickly lose interest. Now that I have books on my ipad and iphone, it is so much easier to always have a book at my disposal; and I have been reading books like crazy. Recently I read this charming story written in a dog's voice that is simple and sweet. If you love dogs, you might enjoy reading about what they think and what their purpose is. I highly recommend this book.
I have once again gotten into the reading habit and it is like I have come home again to the magical experience of being taken to another time and place and looking at life in a whole different way. I am committed to being a consistent reader and enjoying and learning from the experience. I believe my best education comes because of my love of reading.
Posted by Tanya at 10:24 PM
Monday, October 25, 2010
I just got a great idea from a friend of mine on another way to sort through and get rid of unwanted and unneeded clothing. She suggested putting all the hangers on backwards on the rod and then only putting them the right way after that article of clothing has been worn. Then after awhile, notice which hangers are still backwards and then you will obviously know what clothing hasn't been worn and thus can be given away. I'm going to do this but I still like my old boyfriend litmus test. For those that missed that blog, it just means asking myself if what I would want to run into an old boyfriend in a certain outfit. If not, I get rid of the outfit just because I don't want him to be overwhelmingly grateful that he didn't end up with me because of how bad I look.
Posted by Tanya at 7:49 AM
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Being an "all or nothing" person is a bad habit. Take my desk for example. Either it is perfectly clean and organized or it looks like a tornado came through and I even start acting like the wicked witch of the west. I hate clutter and disorder but I can create it like it's my job. I get a little sea sick from the swing from letting it get chaotic and then going O.C.D. It's quite the roller coaster ride and I do love roller coasters, but it's time I find a happy medium.
Posted by Tanya at 8:14 PM
Saturday, October 23, 2010
If I could just know exactly when I am going to die then I think I might be better prepared because I thrive on deadlines. My usual habits include waiting to the last minute and if I don't have a deadline then I tend to procrastinate indefinitely. When I know I have a deadline then I work harder and faster. That is one of the things I love about anticipation. If I have something great I am looking forward to and have that time deadline, then I am motivated to get a lot done.
Not only do big deadlines work for me, but I find I work best if I have lots of little deadlines also. I am nerdy enough that I set little time schedules for myself because if I don't I can find myself still in my pajamas at noon mindlessly getting sidetracked from one unproductive task to another. It can get scary! Being an empty nester and a kept woman means I don't have as many time schedules so I have to create my own in order to stay productive. Go ahead and call me and we'll schedule lunch.
Posted by Tanya at 10:40 AM
Friday, October 22, 2010
I love anticipation. I love to plan fun events and enjoy the time waiting for them. Some people prefer to be spontaneous but I feel like part of the fun is the anticipation and the longer I have to anticipate, the more I can relish it. The anticipated event I was experiencing a week ago is over now. I have been out of the country for a week and now I am back and I will catch up all the days that I missed. The great thing about being away from home for awhile is the anticipation of coming home and planning on being more motivated than before. I've learned that resolution to be a better parent, cook great meals, etc., usually dies quickly but it is still fun to anticipate that maybe I'll really be better once I get home again. We'll see.
Posted by Tanya at 10:44 AM
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Do you ever neglect something you love to do? It's kind of like hiding those Easter eggs. I have been neglecting my love to dance and so the other day I danced to my Zumba exercise DVD. Great fun, and I kill two birds with one stone--I do something I love to do and I get a great work out. Okay, being an animal lover, I'm not really fond of that saying. I'll try and come up with something better.
Posted by Tanya at 10:38 AM
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Not only is it a good idea to go through cupboards and closets to dejunk, but it is a great reminder of what I already have. I almost went and bought new filters only to find a whole box of them in my storage. Like I keep saying, "I can hide my own Easter Eggs." I am discovering that the less I have the better I can remember. Let's hope.
Posted by Tanya at 10:32 AM
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
You'd think that we could reach an age that we finally wouldn't worry about our weight and dieting. Do you think that when I get to be one hundred years old that I could finally let go and eat whatever I wanted? Well, today my sister-in-laws and I took their great aunt out to lunch to celebrate her 100th Birthday, and do you know that she ordered just a fruit cup because she said she had gained a pound from her celebration reception a couple of days ago so she wanted to eat light and lose that pound. I'm not going to lie. If I am out to lunch celebrating my 100th birthday, I am eating it all!!
But I have to remind myself that is why she is so healthy and looking like she is only 80. She has taken good care of herself. Her mind and memory is still sharp also. She asked me how my daughter is by name. What 100 hundred year old person would remember a great-great niece's name? Amazing. I guess I'll keep trying to eat healthy until I'm 100.
Monday, October 18, 2010
It is beautiful Fall weather and I am really cleaning out and organizing outside and inside storage areas. I am being so brave and getting rid of more stuff. I have told that voice in my brain that comes up with lame reasons why I should keep things to "BE QUIET" and I am sending it out to the Universe! Just because I have a place to store stuff I am not using doesn't mean I should keep it. I don't need drugs; I get quite the high from throwing and giving away. It feels so good to lighten my load.
Posted by Tanya at 10:25 PM
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Today in a young woman's lesson was a fable about the camel who gradually nosed his way into a tent until eventually there wasn't room for his master. It is likened to how we can ever so subtly be influenced to accept more and more inappropriate things into our lives until we are completely overcome.
I realized that I too have allowed myself to view TV shows that have gotten more and more inappropriate; and if I am not careful, I too will find myself outside the tent where it is safe and cozy.
Because the lesson also taught that we need to replace the bad with something good, I came home and after erasing all the recordings that I have been feeling uncomfortable about, I set the timer to record Little House on the Prairie. You probably think I am kidding but I'm not. I watched it while it was recording and I have to say that it has been a long time that I felt so touched and inspired by a TV program. Move over Sue, welcome Nellie.
Posted by Tanya at 11:31 PM
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Just like the importance of working on the core muscles for good optimal strength that comes from within, it is important that I visualize the core of my star containing all the basic principles that give strength to the outer points. Principles such as faith, repentance and forgiveness, love, kindness, work, knowledge, integrity, virtue, etc. Any outward goal or performance has to have at the core some solid and sustaining principles that give a foundation and strength to any effort in all the dimensions. If I feel weak at achieving certain goals in each area, then I need to strengthen my core values.
Friday, October 15, 2010
It is rather obvious that almost every commitment I have made this year has to be recommitted to over and over again. Normally I would get frustrated and disappointed with myself, but I understand more and more now that that is just how life is--a continually fight against the natural woman.
After attending three funerals in a week and a half, I am taking a hard look at my star and "cleansing the inner vessel" in each point and replacing the negative with positive desires.
Spiritual-repenting of behaviors and natural negative tendencies that are out of harmony with the kind of person I want to be. Replace with being more in tune with the Spirit of the Holy Ghost and acting accordingly.
Physical-cleansing of impure foods and cluttered and unattractive environment. Replace with healthy foods and beauty.
Mental-cleansing negative thoughts. Replace with positive self talk.
Emotional-getting rid of attitudes and emotions that bring me down instead of uplift. For me that some of my negative emotions are feeling sorry for myself and playing martyr. Replace with gratitude.
Social-getting rid of resentments and past hurts. Replace with love and appreciation.
I had better start now working on being a better person so someone can say something kind about me at my funeral. Today I did commit both my Stake President and Bishop to making sure my children read the talks I will prepare for them instead of coming up with their own; and so maybe I don't have to become better, but just spend all my time writing really pretentious talks.
Posted by Tanya at 8:16 AM
Thursday, October 14, 2010
I love to socialize and our neighborhood has had a week of social gatherings. With two wedding showers, church meetings, and two funerals right in our neighborhood, there has been an unique opportunity to gather together often as friends to offer love and support.
There is a book entitled, Bowling Alone, about the current trend to be socially isolated from each other and the ramifications of that lack of connection. I know that I am the happiest when I can be with family and good friends, but it is something that I have to make an effort to achieve. It is nice to know that my church involvement creates a great social network and opportunities to gather. I guess sometimes things happen that force us all to be there for each other, I just want to be better at creating those opportunities without a tragic excuse (but of course with free food).
Posted by Tanya at 3:58 PM
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Today I attended another inspirational funeral. I loved what our Stake President said about how he loves funerals. And no, it's not just because they are so much more fun than our LDS Weddings (and no, not because of the potatoes either), but he said that he loves them because we focus on what is good about someone. He said that he believes that is what our Heavenly Father focuses on about us as well, and suggested that we do that for ourselves and for others in every day life. Great idea.
Posted by Tanya at 8:51 PM
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
I love this thought. When I complain, I feel miserable. When I count my many blessings (and name them one by one), I feel so alive. I have so much to be grateful for. I am continually amazed at the tender mercies that show up in my life. Yes, I love to be sarcastic and somewhat flippant at times, but the most satisfying and energizing way to be is grateful. This is a message that deserves to be repeated over and over again.
Posted by Tanya at 7:11 PM
Monday, October 11, 2010
I recently posted a link to a talk on facebook by Marlin K. Jensen on difference and respecting differences, and then I made a comment about how important it is for me to listen to a talk and apply it to just me. Yes, I have been guilty of doing the old elbow slinging when I felt like someone else needed to listen up and heed the message, but in so doing I miss what just I am suppose to learn and do. I even remember a talk given in a recent general conference that contained a suggestion to not wear a wrist watch when attending a temple session so that I won't pay more attention to the time than to the spiritual messages that there is for me to hear and feel. For me, the real test comes if I can attend the temple and not notice who is being "disobedient" and wearing their watch. Once a hall monitor, always a hall monitor! I am committed to give up that elementary training.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
We just spent some time at the hospital saying goodbye to a dear friend who is comatose and ready to pass to the other side. It was a bitter-sweet moment that we often don't get the opportunity to experience. It felt so good to whisper in his ear our love and appreciation, but yet so hard to realize that is our last goodbye to him.
I am determined to be better to those that are still living. I might never know when someone might leave without that chance to let them know how much they mean to me. This last week for me has been filled with deaths and emotional experiences that have touched me deeply and are a much needed wake up call to be more open about my love and appreciation.
Posted by Tanya at 9:08 PM
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The other morning I was strolling along just looking down at the asphalt right ahead of me when one of my walking buddies pointed out the beautiful sky colors. Wow, a whole different point of view than what I was focused on. Great lesson for me to look up at the beauty and possibilities instead of the ugliness down at my feet. Now I know that I will need to look down occasionally so that I don't trip and fall since I didn't do charm school, but it will do me good to raise my sights more often so that I can see more beauty. I love good friends who show me more to see.
Friday, October 8, 2010
I'm just a broken record but here it goes again. Some problems are best solved by just simple things. After having terrible back pain the other day and following a massage and visit to the chiropractor,I had this sense that the back pain is because of bad posture. I think I suffer from Lumbar Lordosis. Hopefully not as bad as the picture (poor guy) but enough that it is creating problems.
Once again I feel like if I listen and tune in carefully that I get clues of what I need to do to heal. Either I can work at correcting my posture or just lay around letting people wait on me. Good idea! Nevermind, it isn't really Lumbar Lordosis, it is just a debilitating disease that requires complete bed rest for a year with a little bell to summons food. The only time I am allowed to do anything is shop and eat. I'll go tell Kev.
Posted by Tanya at 10:42 PM
Thursday, October 7, 2010
I have all the electronics a girl could want and I love every one of them but...I realize that I miss writing by hand. There is something magical about writing with a pen and paper that helps my motivation and my creativity. I realize I need to carry a small notebook so that I can write my thoughts, ideas, to do list, etc. Having it all on my computers just doesn't seem to work as well for me. There seems to be more ability for expression when I see my own penmanship. In the last few days of going back to some handwritten notes, I have felt a "flow experience" that I have been missing. Crossing something off a hand written list seems so much more satisfying than doing a click with the computer. I'm weird, I know, but sometimes it's the little things that I discover about myself than can make a big difference. Life is one discovery after another. Maybe my discoveries aren't quite the contribution as Edison but for me it's still a form of light.
Posted by Tanya at 7:00 PM
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Too much or too little of anything isn't good. Right now I am thinking that too much storage area isn't a good thing just like too little storage can be difficult. Now that all of our basement dwellers have moved on to their own homes, I am doing some major dejunking, AGAIN! I tell you the stuff reproduces and grows in my storage areas. Actually, the problem is that we have too many places to store stuff because when we designed and built our home I wanted plenty of storage space, and so the big temptation now that everyone is gone is to accumulate and hang on to all that stuff.
But I am here to say that even if there is a place for it, continuing to hang on to stuff that I don't need is an energy zapper. Even if it is out of physical sight, it is still occupying space in my psychic and let's face it, I simply don't have the extra brain storage anymore. Each time I clean out I get a little more brave and free myself of more STUFF. I mean, who needs a stove anymore?!!
Posted by Tanya at 5:48 PM
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Today I attended the funeral of a neighbor and my second Mom growing up who had to put up with me almost as much as my own Mom because I spent so much time in her home with her two daughters that were my best friends. Today I was filled with such gratitude for this great lady who always made me feel more welcome than I probably deserved and gave me a home away from home along with some cherished memories.
There were three houses in a row and five of us neighborhood friends (one of them being my one-year older brother) gathered today for a picture and a chance to reminisce. Talk about Spanky and the Gang--we had such a fun childhood and so many thousands of memories. As confessions and apologies started for anything we did that might have been hurtful, especially to the younger boy that lived between our two houses, I had a chance to apologize for stealing from Brad's bedroom drawer a little coke bottle replicated bottom opener that seemed so incredibly cool that I thought I had to have it. There, my conscience feels better already. Maybe that is why I grew up resisting Coke--it has always been a reminder of my guilt.
And with that newly cleared conscience, I can absorb the wonderful message that funerals always inspire to live life to the fullest and be deserving of the glorious talks that I have prepared for my children to read at my funeral. You don't think I am going to let my sarcastic, comedic kids come up with their own talks, do you?
Posted by Tanya at 12:29 PM
Monday, October 4, 2010
I had some of my grandkids over for the evening, and because they were begging for cheese while I was fixing dinner I decided to put out a plate of vegetables and ranch dip (lighthouse brand without MSG) while I continued to cook. They gobbled it up like candy. This idea was suggested in Jerry Seinfield's wife's cookbook for feeding kids healthily and also on Zonya's program and it is such a good idea.
When my kids were young, it was only something I did while we waited for pizza delivery. Why didn't I think of it sooner? With a house full of people who turn into bears when their blood sugar drops too low, it can be such a life saver. They get lots of healthy vegetables and I get peace while I continue to cook. It is some of these little things that can make life so much easier. I just need to continue to work smarter and problem solve instead of complaining out of frustration.
Posted by Tanya at 12:05 PM
Sunday, October 3, 2010
This morning I had to remind myself of something I taught over and over in organization classes. (Honestly, that is one of the reasons I need to teach, so that I remind myself) If there is something that is frustrating in my life, home, or relationships then I need to just ask myself, "What can I do to make this work better?" Lately, I have been guilty of getting into a mode of complaining instead of problem solving. Life is never going to be perfect and we really aren't here to reach perfection because we simply can't given our imperfect nature, and so is all I can really do is keep identifying ways that I can learn from my experience or station in life and improve upon it. As much as I keep trying to prove otherwise, complaining just doesn't solve the problem, it just makes it worse and encourages me to find more evidence to complain about. When I proactively ask myself that simple question of what I can do to make it better, then ideas flow and I am able to have more power to change and improve. Just complaining puts me in a very reactive and powerless place that creates a lot of negative energy. It is simply exhausting. Now I just need to forgive myself for having to learn that lesson over and over and over again.
Posted by Tanya at 8:32 AM
Saturday, October 2, 2010
I just saw the movie about the beginnings of Facebook and I have to say, it doesn't appear that the conditions surrounding the start up were conducive to a Godly-inspired creation. I realize that there is a lot of good that can come from it, but I have to also acknowledge that I personally have discovered some negative affects it has had on me.
After seeing the movie, I did a little research about what psychologists say are some of negative consequences and the addictive qualities about Facebook, and so much of it hits home with what I have experienced. I don't mean to be Negative Nancy but I just wanted to go over some of the ways it can be destructive and how to avoid it for my own benefit because I can honestly admit that since I started being more involved with it, I have felt a sort of addictive pull that doesn't feel right and that has been a distraction to other worthy pursuits.
Here are excerpts from an article about Facebook addiction:
"Facebook has become an indispensable way to find old friends, schedule events, play games and even send virtual gifts. But if you're doing more living online than off, it might be time to reassess. Many students are now seeing Facebook more as an addiction than a networking tool, and psychologists are starting to agree.
"Are personal relationships taking a backseat to Facebook? Do you think about Facebook even when you're offline? Do you use Facebook to escape problems or homework or household chores? Do you stay on Facebook longer than intended? Have you ever concealed Facebook use?
"If you answered yes to any, you might be a borderline addict - no joke.
"Frequent Facebook visits actually cause something psychologists refer to as intermittent reinforcement.
"Notifications, messages and invites reward you with an unpredictable high, much like gambling. That anticipation can get dangerously addictive. (I discovered how much of a "high" this is for me because at one point in the movie there was a listing of friend requests on a facebook page during the movie, and I was almost out of my chair wanting to clink on it. Get me to rehab, quick!!)
"The key may be as simple as diagnosing your triggers and changing your habits.
"Find out what's missing from your life," said Bedi. "Whether it's having too much free time, not knowing anyone or just escaping, think about what made you resort to [Facebook], and what you could be doing instead."
I decided to stay off of facebook for a whole day. I am now in a cold sweat and wondering what is going on in the world that I don't know about. I mean, I am missing out on all the things people "like." I don't plan to give up facebook altogether because there are some good things that come from it, but this cold turkey withdrawal is letting me know how dependent I have gotten on it. Without it I can rediscover some old priorities and interests.
Posted by Tanya at 12:27 AM
Friday, October 1, 2010
We have an amazing opportunity to be part of a documentary about the events 400 years ago translating the Bible into English, and last night we were priviledged to attend a lecture and tour about the history of that event. It was held at BYU and just walking the campus in perfect fall weather, rekindled my passion for learning. It was a fascinating evening and one statement that the professor made about their desires in making this documentary to bridge religious differences was that in our interactions with people of another faith that we should "generate light instead of heat."
I liked that. To me that means that we are open to being enlightened by other people's beliefs because all religions have something wonderful to offer. From my fabulous professor at the University of Utah, Dr. Herrin, I learned that when we are open minded enough to learn new information, that scientists have discovered that there is a literal light burst in the brain when we take in and understand new concepts and make connections with our own current understanding.
I am committed to "generate light instead of heat" and working to learn from others instead of defending.
Posted by Tanya at 7:07 AM