Saturday, March 17, 2012
I do think that life should be about progression and I know there will always be a force that fights again that kind of growth. Sometimes that force comes from someone or something else, but oftentimes it comes from inside of me. It is always good for me to look inside and honestly access what it is that is holding me back. Do I believe in myself? Do I really believe I deserve it? Am I afraid of too much success? Am I afraid I might get too full of ego if I succeed at something wonderful? Am I afraid of failure? Do I believe that I can't succeed or that I really won't finish the goals I've set so why even start? Am I afraid of the unknown? Let's face it, sometimes finding and making excuses is easier than change or doing something hard, but going around those excuses can give hope for something better.
Posted by Tanya at 8:55 AM
Friday, March 16, 2012
As a continuation of yesterday's post, I wanted to mention what can happen after finishing school if we have become indoctrinated to base our happiness and idea of success on outward measures or that extrinsic motivation. We can take that drive for grades and turn it into a drive for money and material things as our measure of success. And just like we didn't learn to enjoy the experience of learning for learning sake, we could also be at risk for not enjoying our work experience and instead just depend on the pay or what we buy with our earnings as a measure of satisfaction.
Since I don't work for money (when people ask me where I work; I just tell them I don't work, I just lay around eating bon bons), I have come up with my own kind of extrinsic reward system--it's called the check list. In the same way that people that actually work for money use pay checks or material things as their measure (I guess I do this with shopping), I use the check list. I can be guilty of not enjoying what I am doing and depend on checking an item off of my list as my only moment of accomplishment and reward. I am working at getting better at enjoying the process. Now when I clean a toilet, I just relish the moment and because I am thus sufficiently fulfilled, I don't even have to check it off my list. And if you believe that, then go ahead and give me your phone number, I call you to have you donate to Donald Trump's campaign for President.
Posted by Tanya at 9:27 AM
Thursday, March 15, 2012
I admit I have become too dependent on the external reward or punishment system so now my goal for when I do finish up my master's degree is that I can break out on my own (be a big girl now!) and not have an assignment due date or threat of a bad grade being the only reason I can accomplish something. When I get that figured out (maybe in the next life), then I want to somehow influence our education system to focus more on intrinsic motivation so that students come away with a passion for learning and doing something significant with what they have learned to influence the world, instead of just the focus of high test scores and grades that research has found a high percentage of students are cheating to obtain.
I have found it interesting that the more we tend to take away that intrinsic love of learning and internal motivation, the more rewards and punishments we have to tack on to get students to jump through the hoops. Thus we train students not to really learn to enjoy the experience but only depend on the final grade and someone else as their means of motivation and measure for success.
As I also study positive psychology, it becomes more and more important that we are present in the moment and truly enjoy the experience. Unfortunately with the focus on proving ourselves to get external measures based on the final results of our efforts, the less we can enjoy what we are doing and thus settle for the boredom or stress that external focus seem to promote.
Okay, I will step off my soapbox.
Posted by Tanya at 9:17 AM
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
I know that all the time that I had young children that I had built-in deadlines and reasons to stay focused and productive. Every mother knows that life is easier with children when we are one step ahead of the game rather than lagging behind all day, and so I had to be focused and ambitious or chaos would break out (it did anyway). Now that they are grown up and on their own, most of those built-in deadlines are gone and to keep me from just dragging mindlessly with no focus or ambition, I go to school. I guess some people do that with a job, but with Taco Time as the pinnacle of my work experience, getting accepted back in school was easier. Besides, I need to look busy enough so I won't be required to do all my own cleaning. So please, don't be too impressed.
Posted by Tanya at 7:53 AM
Friday, March 9, 2012
Life is like that. I am given the chance to make mistakes, but because of the Atonement my mistakes don't have to define me or determine the final outcome. I can repent for my mistakes and then learn from them. Instead of being ashamed, I can even be grateful for my mistakes because they are the means by which I learn more and ultimately realize my dependence and appreciation for my Savior and His atonement.
Knowing this is true, I can relax a little and know that I don't have to be perfect. I can also go forward with more faith and confidence knowing that I don't have to always do it right. I can take a little more risk. I can do something bold and daring knowing that even if it is a mistake, I can still learn from it and do differently next time. This is not to say that I will plan to do things wrong--I don't have to, I will just naturally do it (call it a gift). I just won't worry and be so afraid of doing something wrong because that worry can ultimately keep me from doing something great. I just have to settle for a few mistakes along the way so I can learn. That's what first children are for.
Posted by Tanya at 7:24 AM
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
I Made You
(a poem by melody ross)
I took a stroll and then a walk
A thought at first and then a talk
I said ‘just look how fast I go”
If you watch someday you’ll know.
I walked with blisters, couldn’t quit
No rest, no strength but not there yet
I knew there was so much to learn
So much to do, His love to earn.
I picked up speed and started to run,
I raised my eyes and spoke at the sun,
You see! I’m worth it, look at me!
If I do enough, someday you’ll see.
Look, I said, I’m climbing now!
I’ll keep it up and prove somehow,
That I’m a good one, you will see,
Someday you’ll be so proud of me.
I got so tired but couldn’t stop
I had to race right to the top,
It couldn’t be so far, I knew
I had to show what I could do
Things so bleak, a trail so rough
Wanting to prove that I was enough
Beaten down and cold and shot
But, what if I waste this chance I’ve got?
I climbed, then crawled when I couldn’t walk
A thought at first and then a talk
I’ll climb until I reach the top
When I get there can I finally stop?
Who told you that you had to climb?
Who told you that you weren’t just fine? Who told you that it must be earned?
There’s so much that you need to learn.
I loved you when you strolled and thought
You’ve always had the things you’ve sought
There’s nothing that you have to do
To prove to Me…for I Made You.
I know what you can do, you see
Just do your best and breathe and be
And stop the proving just to show
For these are things I already know.
Walk if you want and run if you choose
Climb if you must, you’ve got nothing to lose
But do it for joy , rest along the way
If you need answers, just kneel and pray
Do your best and know what’s real
Stop climbing when you can not feel
And turn and look into the sky
And watch the birds and how they fly
And know that every part of you
Was created with all that’s good and true
There’s nothing that you have to do,
To prove to Me, for I Made You.
Posted by Tanya at 6:00 AM
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 5:46 PM
Friday, March 2, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 9:14 AM