Thursday, November 29, 2012
It is interesting to me that she wrote this book in the very year of my birth, as if she knew that at the start of my life I would eventually need this kind of message to guide me. She knew early on that I would need help. I am now reading it again at about the age she was when she wrote it. I feel such a infinite connection with her as if I knew her and she knows me, and we made some sort of agreement of what she would offer me and I in turn offer others. (Okay that might sound like I am in touch with dead people, which I'm not, in case you're worried, I am close to the edge of insanity but haven't fallen all the way over quite yet!) Anyway, my offering is that you read this book and find your stillness in the center--your inner core. I offer this book as a vehicle for you to do your own soul searching and writing about what it prompts you to belief, think, and eventually do. I also know that my humble and inadequate offering is also to write and share like she did, realizing of course, that I am not nearly as gifted with the use of words and imaginary as she was. At least you don't have to pay to read my writing, so remember, you get what you pay for!
Posted by Tanya at 12:25 PM
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
I am now converted to a new belief. I can move out of pain and be a good person. In fact, I was created to have joy. Pain is telling me something needs to change and is NOT something I should ever just get use to. Every time I do a posture check to relieve the physical pain, I will remember to keep doing that in all aspects of my life.
Posted by Tanya at 9:31 AM
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 11:17 AM
Friday, November 23, 2012
Now that I have valiantly overcome that weight issue and actually gone overboard, I now want to run up stairs and need to do so in order to keep from escalating the weight gain. It is also fun because since my dog goes wherever I go, we have a little race as I run up the stairs with JOY (Joy isn't the dog, just the feeling)!
Posted by Tanya at 8:28 PM
Posted by Tanya at 2:43 PM
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Mind you, however, if I get sick, then going to bed is justified. Oh wait a minute, I have even been know to suffer through the sickness and still rise to that super woman ideal, but trust me, everyone knows about it. But if I get really really sick then I can still go to bed and keep my claim on that over zealous title.
Okay, so now I know I don't have to get sick to give myself permission to do what my heart is calling for, and voila, I don't need to get sick and incapacitated anymore. I can just crawl in bed or in the tub feeling great and not needing any excuse. Wow, I just had a big sigh of relief. I am going to continue to explore my false beliefs and nix them.
Posted by Tanya at 7:54 AM
Monday, November 19, 2012
My personal quest is to always remember (something I am reminded of each week at church) that I need His Spirit to be with me to stabilize my life and to put my trust in my Savior and not some substitute that will only give me a temporary euphoric feeling. I will continue to turn to prayer throughout the day because it is so easy to jump back on that roller coaster ride and get that sick thrill. I will continue to seek His love and peace that is my great stabilizer.
Posted by Tanya at 8:21 AM
Sunday, November 18, 2012
This makes me think of Adam and Eve. I know, you're thinking; "What a stretch!" Stay with me here. As they were kicked out of the Garden of Eden, Adam was told that he would have to start working for his food for his "sake." The definition of sake is benefit. There you have it. Work is for our benefit and now it can become my road to that smooth sailing boat ride.
Eve was also told that she would have to go through pain to have children, and let's face, even with the pain, having children is for our benefit. But I will go ahead and work for my food instead of having more children. Right now a new recipe from pinterest is baking in the oven. I am floating along.
Posted by Tanya at 4:19 PM
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 2:12 PM
It is only when I have faith that my pain can be swallowed up in Christ's Atonement that I know there can be some relief from that excruciating pain. It is that faith that allows total humility and accountability that will eventually lead to forgiveness and healing and allow that pain to be replaced with peace. The peace that surpasses all understanding. It is with deep gratitude that I express appreciation for my Savior that He was willing to suffer for me so that I don't have to continue to feel the full depth of the pain of my responsibility. I have faith that He can heal all damage that I have done.
Posted by Tanya at 1:40 PM
Thursday, November 15, 2012
I realized that I have gotten so use to the adrenalin rush from the roller coaster ride, that I might have become somewhat addicted to it. Yes, as this definition says, I have developed a sick liking for it; and because of that desire, I might be attracting the wild ride in order to feed that addiction.
What this realization does for me is first and foremost put me in a position of facing the truth about myself which is humbling and calls for the need to seek forgiveness and course correction by drawing on the strength of my Savior to heal. It really leads to assuming more personal responsibility, drawing on the Atonement to overcome, and ultimately resulting in more personal power and freedom. It is only when I acknowledge that I am not the victim but the driver of my own ship, that I am able to take the helm and allow my Father to direct me as I find healthy and productive ways to find fulfillment. Writing in this blog being one of them. I will reserve the roller coaster ride to my visits to the amusement parks.
There you have it; my true confession. Yesterday I had over hundred hits to my blog. I hope this helps someone out there who might be having their own struggle.
Posted by Tanya at 10:35 PM
Friday, November 9, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 10:37 AM
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Posted by Tanya at 9:44 PM