Monday, October 28, 2013

Enjoying the Moment

So I was sitting down to do a little filing. Boring job, I know. And that is what I started to think, and then because that is what I was thinking, the task became even more miserable and I just wanted to suffer through it and get it done. Then I realized, this is exactly what "being present in the moment" is all about. I can hate the moment and just wish I could hurry and perform the task, or I can enjoy it. It really is my choice.

It is amazing what a state of mind can do. It has been revealing as I have become more in tune with how my body is feeling and realizing, especially when I am trying to accomplish something, how I have become so use to stress and anxiousness that it has become a part of my body as if it is a second skin and it is pulsating through my veins. I know this is what an addiction to "doing" instead of just "being" has done to me. Some wise words in scriptures say it best. "Stay yourself and wonder," or "Be still and know that I am God," which to me means slow down and ponder and meditate especially meditating on enjoying the moment and realizing that I can trust God and that I am only in charge of aligning myself with His Spirit, which is the spirit of peace and joy.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Left Eye to Left Eye Connection

I have learned so much from my educational experience but some of the most important learning came from trying to find solutions to life's difficulties. It seems like education can fall flat because it doesn't seem very relevant; but when there is a real problem, I become a more eager student.

One of the most interesting ideas and practice that I have learned from a family counselor in California was what he called "the dialog of intimacy." He taught how it has been found through research that while looking left eye to left eye that there is a deeper emotional connection. This morning after watching a message by Robert D. Hales, "Parenting: Touching the Hearts of our Youth," I was reminded of this practice as Elder Hales talked about really connecting to our children while we converse.

Let me explain what the dialog of intimacy is all about. I do this not really for the benefit of anyone else, but for mine because I often forget to practice the valuable lessons that I have learned. As my granddaughter Kinzlee predicted, "I'm old and I'll forget." That is what teaching is all about. It actually blesses the teacher more than it does the student. I guess that is why a handwriting analyst once said about what my handwriting revealed--I take teaching to a whole new level, which translated means, I can really bore people to death. I think I was born to teach not because anyone else needed to learn from me but so that I could finally figure things out.

Practicing the dialog of intimacy includes looking left eye to left eye and then defending the other person and really feeling, understanding, and supporting what they are saying. It doesn't mean that we have to agree but that we understand and validate their feelings without stating or defending our own position. As we defend their position and feelings, we leave ourselves completely available to really see them and feel what they are feeling. I have discovered that when I am consciously doing this that people open up in a whole new way and I feel a greater connection and come to greater understanding. I just realized that this is a lesson that would be beneficial to politicians. Right now I am picturing myself at a table addressing a senate committee meeting. 

Because of this new education, I started to realize that I have often been too busy to have that heartfelt connection with my family. I bought into the pathetic notion that what I accomplish and can show for my accomplishments is more important than heartfelt connection. Not only do I get so busy with the task at hand but I even feel compelled to do two things at once thinking doubling tasking is a gift. It isn't. It is an ongoing problem and thus why I am revisiting this powerful lesson.

I also hope that anyone reading this, especially young moms can learn from my mistakes because I know that I didn't always see into the souls of my children like I wished I would have. Unfortunately there are even more distractions today. Luckily it is never too late and I love the realization that we aren't necessarily here to do things right, we are here to learn from our experience and hopefully others can as well. Thanks for letting me teach so that I can learn.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

60 Goals

My kids are some of my greatest teachers. Today we had our family Halloween party and one of my sons wasn't there because he had gone to Denver to watch a Broncos game. His wife told me that it was on his list of 40 goals to be completed before he turns 40 just like he had done with the 30 goals before his 30th birthday.

Since my 60th birthday (give me a minute to catch my breath) is just a couple of years away, I thought I should make a list of 60 things I want to accomplish before I am 60. My daughter suggested I put sky diving on that list. I don't think so. Instead maybe the list should include:

1. pick out a good nursing home-maybe put together that sorority house for women without husbands because lets face it, most of us will probably outlive our husband and we will need a place to socialize and party.
2. shop for support shoes-maybe start a design company for fashionable support shoes. I mean life won't be worth living without cute shoes.
3. make regular appointments to have random facial hair removed

Seriously, I think Gabe had a great idea and so I will start compiling my list of 60 things.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Words Have Power

I don't have to read very far in the scriptures before I come across a word or a phrase that jumps out at me as an important message that I need to reflect on. When I look up the definition and ask how that relates to me, I am filled with inspiration and direction.  No wonder we are encouraged to search the scriptures and ponder and pray about them. It is the best start of my day.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013


 This morning as I turned on the computer, I discovered that I wasn't connected to the internet and it was interesting how limiting that was for me. I need connection in order to do many important and, unfortunately, unimportant tasks. I couldn't help but think of the important analogy to what had come to me about feelings I had just the night before as I am dozing off of how important it is to have  a greater connection to the Spirit and letting that guide my thoughts and actions. Just like I need to be connected to the internet on my computer to perform important tasks, it is even more important that I am connected to my Heavenly Father to find direction and perform worthy pursuits. Even mundane ones. I am limited in my thinking; but He is limitless. I need that source of power. I long to always be connected.