I am finally get around to sharing some of what I learned from your replies as to what a Molly Mormon means to you. I wanted to anonymously share (with her permission) someone's heartfelt experience with that label that brought tears to my eyes.
"Tanya.....
I had to take a while and really ponder your question before I decided to write down my response.....it really opened up some old wounds for me from when I was a teenager. I've really debated on actually sending this…….. And it turned out to be quite the mouth full…….But as I just told my sister, I feel like I just went through a therapy session as I talked this all out to myself…..And it feels good to get this off my chest……
"I realize that the saying "Molly Mormon" means something different to me now, as it did to me as a teen, and most of my life.
As a teen for what ever reasons, I was viewed as a "bad influence" to one of my best friends. (yes those actual words were used by a certain mom and dad in my ward to describe me to there daughter, as they were trying to get her from hanging out with me!! ) This certain friend had sister's that along with their mom and dad, judged me very strongly, with out even really knowing me. They had that "Holier than thou" attitude towards me. By the time I was 17, I had stopped going to church. I did refer to these people that judged me, and hurt me deeply as "Molly Mormon's"..... As a teen that is what I thought a Molly Mormon was..... All the people that went to church every week, went to every activity, didn't swear, couldn't do anything on Sundays, didn't ever do anything wrong.....the perfect Mormon…… But a lot of these people, I felt, judged me and were not very nice to me... I've carried that pain with me ever since. It affected me in such a way, that I didn't want to go to church. I didn't want to be judged because I wasn't a "Molly Mormon" ( or perfect Mormon) like them...... I believed in the church, but I wasn't able to give it all or nothing...... I've lived all these years thinking because of what happened to me as a teen, that the church was all or nothing...... Because as a teen I went to church most days but not all, and unlike my friends, I was allowed to watch tv on Sunday, or listen to the radio, or go to a friends house... All things that they couldn't... We weren't the "Typical" Mormon family. My dad and brother didn't go, and sometimes we were more or less active……So because I didn't want to be judged anymore, I thought it was better that I didn't go to church at all.. And I didn't....(Until May of this year......)
"But........... in May of this year my son suffered a major seizure one afternoon, and was unconscious for a half an hour. The next day out of no-where he said, I think I want to get baptized..... He had never been to church before. I truly believe that my son had something amazing happen to him while he was unconscious. My husband was a member, we had been married 17 years and had never gone to church. And honestly, I didn't think my husband would ever go to church. Our son then had the discussions, my husband sat in on all of them and it really sparked something in him I had never seen before.. He use to ask me, "how do you know for sure that god is real?" I would say, "I just know it and feel it inside with everything that I am" .... I now know that that is my testimony, after I told that story to my dear neighbor that is 90 years old. Through all the years of harboring these feelings and pain, I never lost that feeling, that I now know is my testimony that God is real!!! The three of us now attend church on a regular basis. We don't go to every class or activity, we watch football on Sundays and let the kids have friends over. But after letting some of my feelings out to my Bishop, he says that's ok. Something is better than nothing……and you never know where the baby steps will lead you one day... And guess what?? We are not judged one bit from our neighbors and ward members. They are all just happy to see us when they see us. I didn't know that I could ever feel as welcome as I feel when I walk in to our Chapel. And it's unconditional. It's not based on if I'm there every week, or if I'm "worthy" in there minds. We are loved and welcomed just because were us!!! My Bishop told my husband, whom still has some struggles, that God is not going to judge him by how many times he has been to church, but by his heart. And anyone that knows my husband, knows he has a heart of gold!! Even with his imperfections.
"So……… I use to think a "Molly Mormon" were the one's who followed the church 100% all of the time, and judged the one's like me that didn't……
But now when I think of the term "Molly Mormon", ………….
Gosh, you know I don't even use that term anymore………….But I know now that I wouldn't attach the people that judge me to it…..
To me I guess it's the people that "appear" to be the perfect Mormon……
Yet I know that no-one is perfect……. And that God is the only one that will judge us when our time comes…..
And yet that brings up a whole new question?? If I refer to someone as a "Molly Mormon", isn't that me judging them?? Thinking that they appear to be perfect?? When they could be struggling and hurting just as bad as I have…….
"I think that maybe we just shouldn't even use that term anymore……
Nothing good comes from "Labeling" people…….
We are all God's children…….
"Thank you for asking that question, What is a "Molly Mormon" to me……
To talk that out and be rid of those feelings feels good…
I just took a few baby steps, heck maybe even a leap…….."
I will continue to share what I have learned from some of you.
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