Wednesday, March 17, 2010


I use to think that perfectionism was a good thing. Now I know it is a curse. Trying to be perfect on my own and especially trying to have a home that is perfect is stressful and impossible. Instead of seeking perfection, I now have a new belief that if people come to my home and it is a mess, I have just done someone a big favor by making them feel better about themselves and their homemaking skills. With this new episode in our life, I realize that in a more dramatic way we have just made a lot of people feel better about their lives. Go ahead and thank us.

Seriously though, our son Jake shared something with me from the book The Hidden Christ by James Ferrell that has great meaning as I think about striving for perfection and coming up short.

"It might strike you as odd that the Lord would demand compliance to a set of laws that we, of ourselves, can't fully live. but that inability to fully live the law is at the heart of one of the key purposes of the law...Perfectionists, beware: The law is designed to expose our imperfection. And therefore to turn us to the only One who is perfect."

My current refiner's fire is revealing my imperfections and tendency to get angry and extremely frustrated. But then as the awful feelings show up as tension in my whole body, I know that it is time to get on my knees and repent and turn it over to my Heavenly Father. Today I had a stunning miracle that was such an immediate and unbelievable answer to my prayers. I realize that it was my imperfection that brought me to my knees, and I am extremely grateful that I am not perfect and that I do realize how much I need my Savior.

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