Friday, February 24, 2012

Carrying Guilt

I am married to a wise man. This morning we were talking about taking personal responsibility and he very succinctly said, "Calling someone judgmental is a sign of self-judgment." I am impressed with his ability to quickly get to the bottom line. Me, I process to the point of exhaustion and try to figure things out, but he has the ability to say it quickly, succinctly, and then move on. No wonder he gets so much more done in a day than anyone I know.

It is true. I know that when I feel like I am carrying heavy guilt, it is tempting to go try to throw that guilt on someone else, blaming them by calling them judgmental and believing that they are the source of pain instead of my personal choices that have created the guilt. I have certainly felt like I have also been on the receiving end, being accused of being judgmental or responsible when someone feels guilty for something they don't want to take responsibility for.

The only cure for guilt is to take responsibility for what created my self-imposed guilt and to fix that. Blaming others and especially calling someone judgmental is really trying to transfer the self judgment from guilt that is the natural consequence of violating what is truly right for me. It is okay for me to judge myself as being out of line, and then can be so healing as I take responsibility and repent. Judging or blaming others won't lead me to the source of all healing.

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