Obey Commandments-Prevent Addictions

This is the age of addictions. The best way to prevent an addiction that can take over someone's life is to obey the commandments. In  obedience; there is safety and peace. The commandments are not just Heavenly Father's way to control our lives or test us. He loves us and gives us commandments to protect us and provide the way to lasting joy and peace.  It is not a reward/punishment-based system inflicted on us by some outside authority, but one where a choice to obey naturally results in a positive outcome. Our choices naturally reward or punish us. A loving Heavenly Father would never hurt us. We can only do that to ourselves. But He will give us what we need to naturally find happiness. Keep the commandments and be grateful to Him for the blessings it brings.

Heart Sings

The more I focus on joy, the less I automatically focus on my prior accomplishment addiction. One of the greatest discoveries I have made is a new awareness of when my heart sings. It is the feeling I get when I am experiencing something joyful. Like the other day. I had to run an errand to Farmington and since I was near the new library, I decided to stop in and check it out. My heart sang. I loved the architectural design, I loved being in the middle of books, books, and more books. I loved the cozy reading spots, I loved seeing the big windows in the children's area overlooking a courtyard, I loved the art. I am going to take more time to seek out those simple little experiences that make my heart sing.

I am a Writer

I am a writer. I am not saying I am good at it. I am just saying I love to write. Something I didn't think I would ever say back in Jr. High and High School. I hated to write and as I think about it, I hated it because I wasn't given the freedom to really explore and record my own thoughts. I think I was too worried about punctuation, being graded, or pleasing someone else. I have found the best thing I have ever done when it comes to writing is to keep a journal and just reflect and write without worrying about a grade or evaluation. I hope in the process that it also makes me a better writer. But in the meantime, I enjoy the experience of putting my thoughts on paper. It seem to work better than leaving those thoughts continually bouncing around in my head and then being dumped on the first person I encounter when my brain needs a little decluttering. Not that that still won't happen; trust me.

Mercy

 2 Nephi 10:2-This scripture hadn't been marked until today. How had I missed the profound message of this scripture before? This morning I had said a little silent prayer that I would read something that would be important for me to know, and then I opened my scriptures and read this. It was a message just for me that obviously had just been added to my scriptures (kind of crazy how that happens). It is a message that says I can relax and know that God is merciful and that those I love will "come to that which will give them the true knowledge of their Redeemer." It is not a journey that can be forced. It is not a journey that is on my timetable. It is a journey that is dependent on God's mercy.

I have had a firm witness that my mercy and love will be one of the small ways that can help others understand and appreciate the infinite and perfect mercy of the Savior and thus the true knowledge of Him. It is nice to know that being merciful isn't really a lot of hard work. It isn't a exhausting checklist that needs to be followed. It is just relaxing into love--feeling God's love and compassion and letting that love consume my very being in such a profound way that it crowds out any feelings of regret or resentment and fills me with compassion.

I have this definition of mercy pasted in my scriptures.

"Mercy. That benevolence, mildness or tenderness of heart which disposes a person to overlook injuries, or to treat an offender better than he deserves; the disposition that tempers justice, and induces an injured person to forgive trespasses and injuries, and to forbear punishment, or inflict less than law or justice will warrant. In this sense, there perhaps no word in our language precisely synonymous with mercy. That which comes nearest to it is grace. It implies benevolence, tenderness, mildness, pity or compassion, and clemency, but exercised only towards offenders. Mercy is a distinguishing attribute of the Supreme Being." Author Unknown

May I always be filled with mercy and love. A hard thing for someone who thrives on sarcasm, has a critical eye, and has an exquisite memory for past hurts. But let's hope God can work miracles even with a reprobate like me. I am grateful that I have been given unique opportunities to feel and understand God's mercy in such a profound way. I have been given sacred learning experiences that were specially designed for my growth. Yes, I have my own Spiritual Designer.

Ordered Surroundings=Ordered Mind

I have exactly one week to go before my final presentation for my graduate project. I have learned a great deal about intrinsic motivation and optimal experience in education, but one of the most important rediscoveries I have made is the importance of order. In my focus for my project, it has been tempting to try and ignore messes and disorder but I realize, once again (being the remedial learner that I am), that it is hard to have an ordered mind when my surroundings are a mess. So whenever I feel confused or frustrated, I know it is time to take a minute and bring physical order to everything around me. It really does make a difference. So I just went and made my bed, cleaned up the dishes in the kitchen, and put away the stacks of books and papers I had scattered on my work table, and organized my desk, and now my brain can feel more relaxed and ordered.  Of course, there is only so much you can do with this brain of mine so there will never be enough physical order. Maybe that is why I am sort of OCD about organization. I am still trying hard to fix my brain.

I do find it interesting to note that before anything could be created when this world was made and even before there could be light, the first step was to organize. 

Scriptures Fell Open-Truth Discovered

I usually read the scriptures every morning but how I read them changes depending on a quick feeling of inspiration. Sometimes I read the scriptures in order and sometime I read inspired words from talks that are considered scripture, and sometimes I just open the book and read randomly as I did today.

It was a tremendous tender mercy that produced tears of gratitude to read just one simple verse that had such a significant impact on me and that is just what I needed at the very moment. I can't deny that God loves me and that He is mindful of me and wants to bless me with truth that can change me and my experience. As I read those words, recent thoughts and experiences also validated that truth and helped me realize in a profound way that I had been prepared to learn that principle and given a simple little way to be reminded of it everyday.

I know this sounds vague but trust me that God does work little miracles in my life and I know that if I am prepared to receive the truth and spend some time everyday seeking for that truth found in scriptures, that I will be blessed to know. More importantly, I will be blessed to change my belief and then my behavior will automatically follow and ultimately relationships improve. Life is so much better when I rely on scriptures rather than my own unhealthy believes and practices. No I don't read the scriptures because I am righteous; I read them because I am wrongeous.  I need course correction everyday.