REPENT

We can’t solve the problems of our country spending time blaming other people. “With blame comes a loss of control. Others determine our reality because we are not accountable.” (Chad Ford) And if we aren’t accountable, there is no need to repent. Repentance is what brings a change of heart. (Helaman 15:7) And when  we are remorseful, our individual and collective hearts change. and our world will change.

So no matter where any of us stand; as a republican, democrat, racist, looter, policeman, evangelist, atheist, etc.; let’s all take a hard look at ourselves and have compassion for the other side and repent for the trouble we might have caused. Because, let’s face the truth, we have all sinned in some way or another. There was only one perfect person who has ever lived. Blaming, condemning, and attacking other people is creating such negativity and is dividing us. And honestly, is a big distraction of our own sins. In essence, by blaming someone else, we are giving away our personal power to change the one and only person we can truly change. We don’t have to agree on everything, but as we focus on our own beam (Matthew 7:5) and all take personal accountability, be humble and individually repent; we can find more compassion and more connected hearts and thus be united. Because, after all, we are the UNITED States of America. 

Creativity

Sometimes messages we need to hear come from a couple of different sources. If that is the case, pay attention. Today I received the repeated message of how important it is to be creative. We are born to create and within each of us is a unique way to to express those creative juices whether it is dancing, singing, painting or just creating a visually appetizing meal. As I thought about how to pull myself from the lethargic slump I was experiencing, the quiet whispering from the messages I received was to immediately fan those creative juices. And I went with the first thing that called to me—water coloring. As I sketched and put color on paper and watched it spread, I was reignited and joy spread through my soul. I felt enthusiasm reborn.

Freedom

Alma 44:2 is interesting. I have had people claiming that religions are just trying to control people. They reject religions and essentially become “angry with us because of our religion,” thinking religion creates a sort of bondage. But the truth of the matter is that I practice my religion to gain more freedom. Freedom from the consequences of harmful practices. Obedience to the principles and practices taught in my religion have brought more peace and happiness into my life. The greatest pain I endure is not what religion has done to me, but watching people who deny religion and thus reject the lifestyle and ultimately put themselves in a sort of bondage. It is hard to watch the suffering. I am grateful that I truly know that breaking commandments in the short term might seem liberating and fun, but eventually will lead to a loss of freedom. And I am grateful for the foresight to know that the commandments might seem to be restrictive but ultimately create freedom and peace and happiness. (See 3 Nephi 27:11)

Justice and Mercy

Alma 42:30- The justice of God is what is required of us. Let us be clear about those requirements. They aren't some arbitrary expectations to control us. There are what will bring us true joy and happiness. God's mercy is the price Christ paid for us to be redeemed from falling short of that requirement. 

When I am at odds with the requirements, I can beat myself up and feel ashamed for my weakness. Or  I can refuse to take responsibility and not be remorseful and instead want to excuse myself. It is especially tempting to claim it is just to hard to live up to so why even try. Or I want to blame something or someone else as the source of my pain. When we don’t believe in and thus deny God’s mercy, it makes all of those destructive choices necessary to relieve the pain of not meeting the requirements because that is all I can do to avoid suffering. 

Of course, we will all fall short. When we are told that no unclean thing can enter His presence, that includes all of us. The plan of happiness says that is why we need a Savior. We cannot be clean enough, we cannot be good enough. And it is a waste of time to beat ourselves up, to give up, or to blame something or someone else. Instead, we can choose to be humble and come unto Christ and take advantage of the mercy that is offered to us.  

It’s for your own good

As I read scriptures, it is helpful to ask myself questions about what I am reading to discover what I might also be guilty of. When I read “they began to be offended because of the strictness of the word” (Alma 35:15), I asked myself, in what ways am I sort of offended or bothered by some truth that I don’t want to comply with? As I sort of have had a struggle with adhering to a healthy eating regiment, I realize that I am bothered by the fact that to be truly healthy at my age, a stricter eating protocol is necessary. No longer can I get away with such a permissive diet like I got use to in my younger years. Back in the day, I could eat leftover pizza right before bed and I could eat ice cream like it was going out of style and not seem to suffer any great consequences. And now I look at the negative results of a permissive diet and I am a little peeved that I can’t have my ice cream AND a healthy outcome. 

In this world, it can be tempting to think we can do just what we want without restriction. But the “strictness of the word” means that there is a certain amount of denial that is necessary to have positive outcomes. We cannot have just eat, drink, and be merry and not expect the consequences to follow. The “strictness of the word” actually gives us more freedom in the long run. It has lasting benefits. So I give up the immediate gratification of junk food and live what seems like a strict healthy eating plan described in D & C 89, and then I can enjoy better health. It is vital that I just comply and not be offended nor complain about the restriction to try to justify my bad habits. Easier said than done.  

Lessons learned from quarantine

I have learned something profound from the quarantine. It has revealed to me how many of the things I normally do that I have obviously done out of habit, or out of duty that must not be that important or beneficial to me because when the restrictions started lifting, I have to admit, I was kind of sad that I might now be expected to do those things again (whether that expectation was coming internally or externally, I am not always sure). I realize I still longed for the excuse not to do them. I found the quarantine actually set me free in some ways. It has now made me want to re-evaluate what is important to me and given me permission to eliminate those things that obviously I didn’t want to do in the first place but only felt compelled to do them. Or at least do them differently and most likely, in a simpler way.  

I also think we have learned a lot about self-reliance and preparedness and how to be alone without being lonely. I have also certainly rediscovered the simple pleasures of the staying- -at-home projects such as cooking, gardening, reading, puzzles, sewing, organizing, etc. In essence, I have learned that I have a choice—either I complain or I get creative and find solutions that can make my life better. 

With that said, I want to be careful that I don’t eliminate service and sacrifices that are beneficial to bless other people, especially being considerate of those whose circumstances aren’t as privileged as mine are. But I will be more thoughtful about what is essential and what is just doing to be doing because someone told me I should or because I have erroneously put that expectation on myself to feel busy and important. I also don’t want to be caught up in doing it to just look good to desperately prove to myself and others that I am worthy. Like actually washing my hair wearing uncomfortable clothes instead of being content with nappy hair and wearing sweats all day🤪

Even inconveniences can bring blessings

This is a unique time. We are given the chance just like in Alma 33 in which people weren’t allowed to worship in the churches. What an opportunity to truly worship on our own without being seen of men. (Alma 33:7-8) It is a chance to flush out my individual desire to worship my Heavenly Parents and Savior and not just going to church to socialize. Although I do know that with every expectation we are given there are a multitude of benefits, and worshiping at a church with other people allows for the second blessing to be able to rub shoulders with other inspiring people. But for me, this time has afforded me the unique opportunity for an intrinsic experience that has fed my soul in ways that meeting in a congregation hasn’t. I am solely dependent on my own effort to experience communion with the Divine. I feel a new sense of self reliance as I connect with my Heavenly Parents without thinking about what I wear or if my hair looks okay to the people sitting behind me or consumed with what other people are wearing. It is all about feeling the Spirit and being inspired through my own efforts. It is true that with every inconvenience we can find blessings.  

Never too late to change

Last night I listened to Roselyn Christensen’s funeral and was moved to tears and truly inspired. She was, without a doubt, a remarkable woman who influenced me in a multitude of ways. Funerals can be a great source of inspiration to be and do better. But if I am not careful, and only look back on my life instead of looking forward, listening to the stories of a well-lived, ambitious and faithful life can make me feel inadequate and stir up feelings of regret. I mean, this woman was “Mother of the Year” in 1990. I have often jokingly claimed that I was mother of the year in some random year when introducing myself when giving a speech somewhere, but this woman really was! 

At almost 65, I could think most of my life is behind me and feel like I have missed out on many opportunities that people such as Roselyn so beautifully took advantage of. Just listening to the musical experiences and the more than a dozen musical instruments found in their home, filled me with a sense that my family was woefully cheated. And those discouraging feelings can sabotage any ambition in the present moment.  

I am grateful for an eternal perspective that gives me hope that there is plenty of time for growth. That I can start right where I am and make changes that can bleed into eternity. Maybe I start with buying a drum set. Kev will love our grandkids banging on that. Thank you Roselyn for such a beautiful life and for your continued source of inspiration. And thank you to her children who were able to convey the lasting influence she had on them  and the love she offered to 10 accomplished children. 

May I also reference the hopeful message contained in Alma 23-29 about a blood thirsty people who changed dramatically to being a meek and faithful people. There is always hope for us. Change and new growth is always possible.

Guilt

What needs to happen when we feel the pain of guilt is to quickly fall to our knees and repent. No excuse making, no justifying, no blaming; but just simply repent and seek the sweet release of the pain of guilt and open the door to a clear conscience and the opportunity to change and an opportunity for growth.

If we don’t seek that path then we become what the author of the book White Fragility so beautifully declared. “When we are mired in guilt, we are narcissistic and ineffective; guilt functions as an excuse for inaction.”

Picture that—mired in deep gooey mud and unable to move forward. We are stuck in a selfish predicament. Selfish because we can only think about ourselves and how hard life is at that moment. Of course, as my last post discussed, we could try hard to excuse and justify our behavior and try to place the guilt on other people, but that won’t free us from the muddy pit. We will only sink in deeper.

It is only when we admit our error and seek forgiveness from those we have wronged, especially our Creator, can we release the pain of guilt without being consumed by it, Just accept 100 percent responsibility and be cleansed. 

It really is a simple path that can bring us immediate relief. I know because I have been there. I have felt the excruciating pain of knowing that I am guilty of causing someone else a tremendous amount of pain and making my own life miserable. I was suddenly held accountable for something that I had wanted to believe was due to someone else’s sins. The guilt was truly painful. More than I could bare. But then, I did literally fell to my knees and I felt the immediate relief of being forgiven by my Savior. I felt the guilt melt away and I knew that I was completely loved by Him. I knew that my sins and my mistakes were swallowed up years ago in that Garden, and all I had to do was acknowledge my guilt and embrace that gift and thus be able to forgive myself. 

I say with complete conviction that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real. It is powerful. And because of His gift, I don’t have to live with guilt. I can step out of the deep mud and move forward. I don’t have to be defined by my mistakes but I am given the opportunity to just learn from them.       

100 Percent Responsible

I recently listened to a profound talk. “Be 100 percent Responsible” by Lynn G. Robbins. You can find it on the internet under BYU devotionals, and I highly suggest reading the talk directly but I just wanted to highlight a few quotes here for your reading enjoyment. :)

“Being 100 percent responsible is accepting yourself as the person in control of your life. If others are at fault and need to change before further progress is made, then you are at their mercy and they are in control over the positive outcomes or desired results in your life. Agency and responsibility are inseparably connected. You cannot avoid responsibility without also diminishing agency.” 

Do we realize how much freedom and power we give up when we try and hold someone else responsible for our own happiness???

Elder Robbins offers a detailed list of ways that we try to give up our responsibility and thus our freedom and power over our own lives. I appreciate how he has also linked stories in the scriptures that illustrates how valuable the lessons gleaned from the scriptures can be as we can learn from other people’s failings. 

1. Blaming others: Saul disobediently took of the spoils of war from the Amalekites; then, when confronted by Samuel, he blamed the people (see 1 Samuel 15:21).

2. Rationalizing or justifying: Saul then rationalized or justified his disobedience, stating that the saved livestock was for “sacrifice unto the Lord” (1 Samuel 15:21; see also verse 22).

3. Making excuses: Excuses come in a thousand varieties, such as this one from Laman and Lemuel: “How is it possible that the Lord will deliver Laban into our hands? Behold, he is a mighty man, and he can command fifty, yea, even he can slay fifty; then why not us?” (1 Nephi 3:31).

4. Minimalizing or trivializing sin: This is exactly what Nehor advocated (see Alma 1:3–4).

5. Hiding: This is a common avoidance technique. It is a tactic Satan used with Adam and Eve after they partook of the forbidden fruit (see Moses 4:14).

6. Covering up: Closely associated with hiding is covering up, which David attempted to do to conceal his affair with Bathsheba (see 2 Samuel 12:9, 12).

7. Fleeing from responsibility: This is something Jonah tried to do (see Jonah 1:3).

8. Abandoning responsibility: Similar to fleeing is abandoning responsibility. One example is when Corianton forsook his ministry in pursuit of the harlot Isabel (see Alma 39:3).

9. Denying or lying: “And Saul said . . . : I have performed the commandment of the Lord. And Samuel said, What meaneth then this bleating of the sheep in mine ears . . . ?” (1 Samuel 15:13–14).

10. Rebelling: Samuel then rebuked Saul “for rebellion.” “Because thou hast rejected the word of the Lord, he hath also rejected thee from being king” (1 Samuel 15:23).

11. Complaining and murmuring: One who rebels also complains and murmurs: “And all the children of Israel murmured against Moses and . . . said . . . , Would God that we had died in the land of Egypt!” (Numbers 14:2).

12. Finding fault and getting angry: These two are closely associated, as described by Nephi: “And it came to pass that Laman was angry with me, and also with my father; and also was Lemuel” (1 Nephi 3:28).

13. Making demands and entitlements: “We will not that our younger brother shall be a ruler over us. And it came to pass that Laman and Lemuel did take me and bind me with cords, and they did treat me with much harshness” (1 Nephi 18:10–11).

14. Doubting, losing hope, giving up, and quitting: “Our brother is a fool. . . . For they did not believe that I could build a ship” (1 Nephi 17:17–18).

15. Indulging in self-pity and a victim ­mentality: “Behold, these many years we have suffered in the wilderness, which time we might have enjoyed our possessions and the land of our inheritance; yea, and we might have been happy” (1 Nephi 17:21).

16. Being indecisive or being in a spiritual ­stupor: The irony with indecision is that if you don’t make a decision in time, time will make a decision for you.

17. Procrastinating: A twin of indecision is ­procrastination. “But behold, your days of probation are past; ye have procrastinated the day of your salvation until it is everlastingly too late” (Helaman 13:38).

18. Allowing fear to rule: This one is also related to hiding: “And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth. . . . His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant” (Matthew 25:25–26).

19. Enabling: An example of enabling or ­helping others to avoid responsibility is the instance when Eli failed to discipline his sons for their grievous sins and was rebuked by the Lord: “Wherefore kick ye at my sacrifice and . . . honourest thy sons above me . . . ? (1 Samuel 2:29; see also verses 22–36).

In acknowledging that “excuses never equal results”, I especially like this quote attributed to David B. Haight: “A determined man finds a way; the other man finds an excuse.” 

Then Elder Robbins asks, “If the anti-responsibility list is so dangerous, why do so many people frequently turn to it? Because the natural man is irresponsible by nature, he goes to the list as a defense mechanism to avoid shame and embarrassment, stress and anxiety, and the pain and negative consequences of mistakes and sin. Rather than repent to eliminate guilt, he sedates it with excuses. It gives him a false sense that his environment or someone else is to blame, and therefore he has no need to repent.”

I know first hand the difference I feel inside when I try to ignore my need to repent by avoiding my responsibility, as opposed to when I humbly admit my fault and seek the joy the repentance truly brings. The truth is, true forgiveness cannot be accessed by calling someone else to repentance. I can only seek that for myself. And even if I don’t need to repent, I want to focus my energy on seeking solutions that I can control to better my situation. There is simply no power and there is no progress in remaining a victim to other people’s choices or the uncontrollable circumstances in my life.

By the way, don’t ever think my writings are only to benefit others. I am processing and writing to mostly convince myself of truths I need to better align with.   

The Son Shines Through

I’ve learned something from watching sunsets and sunrises. They are a whole lot more majestic when there are dark clouds present. So it is in our lives. Christ’s example and influence is much more majestic through the dark clouds we experience. Just like the sunset and sunrise isn’t as spectacular without the clouds, His presence and influence doesn’t seem as important when there isn’t trouble in our lives. Thank goodness we do have the difficulties to help remind us how important and needful He is. Now we just need to get better at always basking in His goodness and direction when skies are clear.

Responsible for our own Learning

So what does that mean that “we are responsible for our own learning”? Does it suddenly help us realize we can no longer claim, “church is boring.” That we can’t depend on people to just give us great talks in Sacrament meeting or provide stimulating lessons. That we are no longer just an audience waiting to be wowed. 

I realize we now have the renewed responsibility to learn from our own efforts. To learn how to gain not just knowledge but understanding. To make the understanding a part of us in a way that it changes behavior. And then to come to church reading and willing to share our insight and experience. To be an example of how gospel study can change our minds and hearts and lead us to Christ. 

I often think about what one of our sons experienced when he was on his mission in the MTC. He said they were all required to prepare a lesson as if they were going to be the teacher. Then they all showed up for class prepared and at that time they selected who would teach. Wouldn’t that then lend itself to a powerful discussion in which everyone was so well versed in the subject material? 

I had an amazing teacher and class in college—Dr. Herrin, Ecology of Family Belief Systems. If you have spent anytime with me and heard me reminisce about how that class impacted me for a life time, you aren’t hearing about this for the first time. 

Dr. Herrin (who incidentally was a member of The Church) would give us reading assignments before our class discussion. He would say that he really should require those who didn’t read the material to wait outside because they wouldn’t really have much to offer in the class discussion. (What if we did that at Sunday School?) No tests were given because it is evident that  just memorizing facts and regurgitating those facts only to eventually forget isn’t the way to true learning and understanding. 

We were just required to do a whole lot of reading, discussions, and a lot of writing about what we felt about what we read. And to add to this learning process, we were required to do a service learning project and then tie it into what we were learning. What I experienced and learned was incredible! And to this day, I remember so much of what I learned because it was a life-changing experience. It was true learning.

One of the most impactful learning I came away with from this class was about the process of true learning. It is more than listening and taking notes about what the teacher said and then being tested on his/her knowledge and how well I can recite back. It was a process is which I had to be an active participate. I learned how important it is for me to do my own processing by really coming to my own personal understanding and articulating it in writing. I experienced the profound lessons that are taught in service learning. That I can’t just learn something but I have to do something about what I have learned. Yes, I learned that I am responsible for my own learning and how that learning should be used to bless others. And I learned that I want to keep learning for a liftetime because of how intrinsically rewarding it is. 

A Higher Standard

I have always believed that when there is trouble in a relationship or a culture that I must ask, “Is it I?” It is always so easy and natural to want to blame someone else; but time and time again I realize I am a big part of the problem and if I want things to change, I have to hold myself to a higher standard and I have to change.

I usually just want to call out my own sins but I want to speak out about a need for universal higher standards. I look around and want all of us to take personal responsibility and be held to a higher standard, especially when there is trouble in a society. 

I am sad and frustrated about the example of those in public office and newscasters who aren’t holding themselves to a higher standard. Anderson Cooper and Don Lemon have justifiably expected our current president to be held to a higher standard, but then I was gravely disappointed as I watched these same newscasters ignore the professionalism of their role and behave in what I deem reckless behavior on New Years Eve. I can’t for a millisecond imagine the respected newscasters of the past, such as Walter Cronkite, getting inebriated on the air. 

As Anderson Cooper and Don Lemon have repeatedly and justifiably held our president to the higher standards of past presidents, I simply ask them to embrace the higher standards of past newscasters as well. We all have a responsibility to take a hard look at ourselves and assess whether we are contributing to the social problems and the social climate of our day. Drunkenness simply doesn’t benefit our society.

Take a Stand Against Sexual Abuse in Word and in Deed—Eradicate Offensive Words

In light of the “me too” movement I feel the need to weigh in. Not because I have been directly abused but because I have been affected by the downward decline of our collective morals. I too am troubled by the recent allegations of sexual abuse and am grateful there is a united cry to weed our society of its debasing harm. I do believe that all societal problems this big have a smaller, root problem that needs to be addressed. So if we really want to do a global cleanse, it needs to start with the smaller, less obvious trend—the degrading words we use.

I make my claim based on an interesting study by Maseru Emoto of the affects of words on water crystals, and on the Broken Windows Theory by James Wilson and George Kelling. 

Because there wasn’t tangible evidence that words had an affect on people, Maseru Emoto did some experiments with water. He wrote various positive words like “love”, “thank you”, and negative words such “fool”, “kill” on bottles with distilled water. He left those bottles with the attached words undisturbed for the whole night and on the next day froze the water. Then Maseru Emoto observed the crystals of the water under a microscope. The results were amazing and revealing. The crystals from the positive words were beautifully clear, symmetrical shapes whereas the crystals from the negative words were shaped chaotically and an ugly grey.  

With this finding of the positive or negative affect of words on water in a bottle, think about the negative affect that words can have on our bodies when they are made up of 70% of water. So it is possible that everything we say and hear has a strong influence on ourselves, on people around us, and on the whole environment. 

I believe the Broken Windows Theory also has relevance to the words we use. This theory proposed by Wilson and Kelling in 1982 used the broken windows as a metaphor for disorder within neighborhoods in that it linked disorder and incivility within a community to subsequent occurrences of serious crime. The most notable application of the theory was in New York City where they started to crack down on panhandling, disorderly behaviors, public drinking, etc. and discovered that the serious crimes diminished. 

Could it be that if we were to start a crack down on eradicating negative words, especially negative words with sexual connotation, we could put a dent in the amount of more serious sexual violations. Could it be that if we eliminated the kind of words that adversely affect the water in our bodies, and replace those words with positive, uplifting words that we could create a more uplifting environment that would displace the negative affect on the water that is pulsing through our bodies. 

We can no longer ignore the negative words we use that have a negative sexual message. It is time we take a stand and make a change. The word that has become so prevalent in our society has to be eradicated if we want to even hope to change sexual abuse. Join me in taking a stand against abuse in words and in deeds. 

Can we ever really find happiness?

I recently saw that someone commented on a Facebook post about their daughters recent marriage—“I’m glad she found happiness.” It made me ask myself the question. “Do we really FIND happiness?”  The answer I came up with is no, we don’t. Happiness isn’t found, it is created.

Off-Kilter

I have found taking care of plants and a garden has continual life lessons. This same plant that I almost gave up on is grossly out of balance. The branch that is growing higher than the others needs the new growth at the top snipped off in order to both send more growth down it's base, but also allow the other shorter branches to catch up.

It is that way with the different dimensions of our lives. If one part of us is growing faster or more than another part, we too can get out of balance and we are thrown off-kilter.

 kilter
noun awry, off balance, unbalanced, out of order, disordered, confused, muddled, disoriented, out of tune, out of whack, out of step; humorous discombobulated. See also off-kilter.
For example, too much focus on just our physical appearance or even just our physical health and neglecting our intellectual growth can throw us off balance and we too will feel "confused, muddled, disoriented, out of whack." All dimensions--spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, and social--need balanced growth.

Never Give Up

I almost gave up on this plant. It was at a previous home and it started to look scraggly so I didn't really take good care of it thinking I wouldn't take it to our new home anyway.

But because it is hard for me to give up on and throw away a living plant, I took it to our new home and started to take good care of it again--watering regularly and fertilizing it.

For a year and a half, it just stayed the same. I guess it was just in recovery mode. It took this long to start sprouting new growth, but now on every branch there are new vibrant baby leaves reaching upward.

A great lesson for life and for relationships. If we don't give up and continue to nurture, it might take awhile but eventually we will be blessed with new growth. And isn't that what life is all about--recovery and growth.

Forgive

What keeps coming to me lately is to forgive. Forgive the driver who cuts me off. Forgive past offenses against me. Forgive myself if I don't live up to my own expectations. If Jesus Christ could call for forgiveness while hanging on the cross in brutal physical pain, then I can forgive. I can also assume that "they know not what they do."

Faith has a short shelf life

Today I read this thought. It's true. Just like the manna from heaven given to the Israelites, faith doesn't store well. I have to partake of something that feeds my faith every day. Sometimes every minute. Whether it be reading scriptures, other good books, praying, writing about my faith, enjoying God's beautiful creations, or just noticing and being grateful for all the miracles and blessings that surround me, I have to have a constant source of faith-promoting experiences. My soul needs constant nourishment.

Thank you all for a Happy Life

It's not only my birthday, it's my 62nd birthday. My how that time has flown by. I blinked and now I am way up there in the years. But I refuse to feel old because I truly believe I am as young as I feel (please don't burst my birthday balloon bubble).

One of the memories I have about my birthday from my childhood is being disappointed (let's be perfectly honest, I have done my share of whining even as an adult). I remember having birthday pity parties because people weren't nice enough or thoughtful enough. Wow, a big sign of entitlement. Somehow I felt entitled and expected people to make me feel special.

I have come to realize that feeling special is an inside job.  It is simple too risky to put that responsibility on a flawed human being because we are all flawed.

If I want to have a special day I can make that happen both in my attitude and planning. I don't have to wait for someone to make my day special. I can do that for myself and if other people do nice things for me then it is just icing on the cake. But baking my own cake happens when I feel gratitude for the life I have been given.

That gratitude for life starts with all the gifts and blessings I have been given from my Father in Heaven. The gratitude continues for my parents who sacrificed to provide me a life in a happy and comfortable home. And finally, gratitude swells in my heart as I realize that everyone in my life has offered so much to me already, so I really don't need to expect my birthday to be extraordinary because my life already is. I have a happy life. Thank you to all who have made my life special.