What I've Learned From a Marriage of Two Imperfect People

Thirty-eight years ago today I was a tax deduction bride. Here is what I've learned in my 38 years of a marriage that has certainly seen its share of joys and difficulties.

I have learned that marriage takes a tremendous amount of work and patience.

I have learned that each person in a relationship has a part in the difficulties and that when each person focuses on their part, there is greater healing and growth.

I have learned so much about my own inadequacies but I have also learned more about the need for and the healing power of the Atonement than I would have learned in any other way.

I have learned that if I want to make improvements, I seek guidance from my Heavenly Father and focus on what I need to improve upon. 

I have learned that differences and disagreement is healthy and to be more understanding of the other point of view instead of just defending my own position.

I have learned to look at the long term consequences of giving up and focusing on the benefits of hanging in there.

I have learned that adversity can be a great teacher and that learning to forgive and being forgiven can be the greatest healer and opportunity for growth.

I have learned to resist taking another person's mistakes and weaknesses personally and be more compassionate and supportive.

I have learned that punishment and the cold shoulder are counter productive.

I have learned that a desire for great achievements can get in the way of developing a close relationship.

I have learned that developing healthy and close attachments are the greatest source of strength and the greatest accomplishment.

I have learned that as I grow closer to God and feel His love, I naturally draw closer my spouse and want to be more loving.

I have learned that it is important to have high expectations for each other but it needs to be coupled with being supportive and responsive if we fall short.

I have learned the power of love and being able to love ourselves and others in spite of our weaknesses.

I have learned to never ever give up on those we love and in so doing have discovered a greater measure of love.

I have learned that I can be happy no matter what life dishes out to me.

I have learned that success doesn't necessarily mean a perfect marriage. The success is having difficulties but knowing where to turn to for help, and recognizing that it is the difficulties that actually teach us the most about the power and the love of God.

Finally, I have learned that marriage can always get better and better, and we can grow even more deeper in love and more appreciative of each other.