Peace

There is peace that surpasses all understanding. At the moment of the stark realization that I know I am responsible for someone's pain and done damage to a relationship by sinning against my true nature to be loving and supportive and becoming controlling and critical, it can be quite gut-retchingly painful. I think it is the depth of this kind of pain that makes it harder to want to take personal responsibility for the damage that has been done and to want to defend and deflect, but that avenue is just an artificial means to try and feel more comfortable but won't ever lead to true peace.

It is only when I have faith that my pain can be swallowed up in Christ's Atonement that I know there can be some relief from that excruciating pain. It is that faith that allows total humility and accountability that will eventually lead to forgiveness and healing and allow that pain to be replaced with peace. The peace that surpasses all understanding. It is with deep gratitude that I express appreciation for my Savior that He was willing to suffer for me so that I don't have to continue to feel the full depth of the pain of my responsibility. I have faith that He can heal all damage that I have done.