Jesus Christ, my Redeemer

What I have ultimately found in my year's quest for self-improvement is that it isn't a continuous upward progression. There can be progress but it is filled with set backs and failures but in reality, I can learn more from my failures than I might learn from my successes. The good news is that those failures help me realize how imperfect and weak I am and how much I need help. The successes could make me feel prideful and could tempt me into believing that I can do it all on my own. The successes can only be valuable if I always recognize from where my true source of power and strength come. The word redemption found in 3 Nephi 9:21 is what I ultimately only need on my quest for improvement. It isn’t really self-improvement but a reliance on the redeeming power of Christ. Any success I might have is due to His glory.

New Year's Resolution

I have decided to start back in college. I've realized that I need to have a new challenge and finally live my dream to finish my Master's Degree and possibly teach at a University. I boldly deleted Angry Birds from my iphone and knew there must be something missing in my life if a bunch of stupid birds can take up so much of my time like they have. The lame satisfaction of conquering each level was such a temporary and unfulfilling sense of accomplishment that created an addictive urge for more because it wasn't really legitimately rewarding. It validates the thought, "You can never get enough of that which you don't really need." The addictive power of Angry Birds served a valuable purpose because it gave me the message that I need to find that which is my real mission that will be legitimately satisfying. Thank you little birdies, I will now move on.

Focus on Success

Trying to be an optimistic means that I focus more on my success rather than my failures. Being a perfectionist sometimes makes that hard to do, so it is hard to be an optimistic and a perfectionist. You see, being a perfectionist means that I keep my focus on what is wrong instead of what is right. When I talked about boundaries, I also feel like it can be tempting to focus on what is outside of my boundaries and what I shouldn't do instead of what I can do. It is all about what I focus on. I want to focus on my successes and I want to focus what I should do within my boundaries and not what is taboo.

Condemnation

As I look back on my year of self-improvement and recognize my failings, I realize that a big part of the negative Molly Mormon definition is judgment and condemnation, which is something I have been guilty of. I've said this before but I am first hard on myself. Does our Heavenly Father condemn us? Helaman says that we condemn ourselves but that He does chasten us because He loves us. What is the difference between condemn and chasten? (Inquiring minds want to know) To me condemn seems like it is the final judgment that gives no hope, but chasten allows for opportunity to repent and do better, which is the good news of the gospel. The opportunity to learn from instead of being condemned gives me hope. I look back on this year and know that I have many regrets but those regrets don't have to condemn me. I can learn from them and thus feel like my mistakes can be a blessing.

Oh, and as pertaining to getting rid of the negative Molly Mormon attitude, I want to always remember that it isn't my job to chasten others, I will leave it to God and the natural consequences of sin.

Seasonal Sickness

I have been reading the 76 reasons sugar is bad for my health. SCARY! Since lowering our immunity is the first reason, I have decided that increased holiday sickness might be caused by all the holiday candy. I have caved in to all the sugar and feel like it just isn't worth it and know it's addictive pull for me and have experienced it's ill effects. Rehab here I come.

Fence or Ambulance

Some would scoff at the commandments as being restrictive and controlling but I for one know of the necessity and protection of boundaries. I love this poem and its message. I keep relearning the importance of setting boundaries in my life and the negative consequence of ignoring those boundaries. I keep setting my own personal limits like how soon I want to go to bed and my eating habits, and then ignore those rules only to feel yucky and out of control. No, it isn't the limitations that feel like control but the negative consequences of ignoring boundaries. I like fences and know that the fence on the cliff would make the ambulance in the valley unnecessary.

The Fence or The Ambulance
Joseph Malines

‘Twas a dangerous cliff, as they freely confessed,
Though to walk near its crest was so pleasant:
But over its terrible edge there had slipped
A duke and many a peasant;
So the people said something would have to be done.
But their projects did not at all tally:
Some said, "Put a fence around the edge of the cliff"
Some, "An ambulance down in the valley."

But the cry for the ambulance carried the day.
For it spread to the neighboring city:
A fence may be useful or not, it is true,
But each heart became brimful of pity
For those who had slipped o’er that dangerous cliff,
And the dwellers in highway and alley
Gave pounds or gave pence, not to put up a fence,
But an ambulance down in the valley.

"For the cliff is alright if your careful," they said,
"and if folks even slip or are dropping,
it isn't the slipping that hurts them so much
as the shock down below-when they're stopping,"
So day after day when these mishaps occurred,
Quick forth would the rescuers sally
To pick up the victims who fell off the cliff,
With their ambulance down in the valley.

Then an old man remarked, "it's a marvel to me
that people give far more attention
to repairing results than to stopping the cause,
when they'd much better aim at prevention.
Let us stop at its source all this mischief, cried he.
"Come neighbors and freinds, let us rally :
If the cliff we will fence, we might almost dispense
with the ambulance down in the valley."

"Oh, he's a fanatic." the others rejoined:
"dispense with the ambulance Never!
He'd dispense with all charities, too, if he could:
no, no! We'll support them forever.
Aren't we picking up folks just as fast as they fall?
And shall this man dictate to us? Shall he?
Why would people of sense stop to put up a fence?
While their ambulance works in the valley?"

But a sensible few who are practical too,
Will not bear with such nonsense much longer
They believe that prevention is better than cure
And their party will soon be the stronger
Encourage them, then with your purse, voice and pen
And (while other philanthropists dally)
They will scorn all pretense, and put up a stout fence
On the cliff that hangs over the valley.

The Best Loved Poems of the American People
Compiled by Hazel Felleman
Published by Doubleday, 1936

Christmas Gifts

I remember as a child, setting out a display of all my Christmas gifts. Now I want to set out a different kind of display, showing all my many gifts in the form of blessings. I am grateful for so much and especially for my Savior because his birth provided the best gift of all.